‘Dikhti bhi golmatol hai’: Rubina Dilaik recalls being body shamed by director of her first show, says went on soup-only diet for a year to lose weight

Admitting that she “looked so sick and pale” in her second show, the 37-year-old continued: “My energies were so down. That phase…when I look back…I am like…what was I thinking…I wish somebody had taught me how to embrace myself. Kisine nahi bataya, aap apne me khoobsurat hai. (no one told us that you are beautiful in the way you are). I was 19-20 when I came, and I had come from the mountains …having grown up on ghee, milk, curd...golmatol bachcha hai…woh freshness thi…in my second show, my cheekbones used to be visible…my waist was snatched…but it wasn’t that glowing effect…It took me a long time to get out of this cycle. I don’t want that comparison on my children now…”

Drawing on her experience, let’s explore how body shaming can have a profound impact on people.

Psychotherapist Delnna Rrajesh has worked with hundreds of women who still flinch when they look in the mirror. “Not because they dislike their body. But because someone else told them they should,” said Delnna.

In a world where a woman’s worth is still measured in inches and filters, the scars of body-shaming often go unseen. “But they run deep. Especially when the pressure comes during our most formative years – 19, 20, just stepping into adulthood. Instead of being welcomed with warmth, we are ridiculed, measured, starved into silence,” added Delnna, stressing that this isn’t just about television or entertainment; it happens in school corridors, college classrooms, and our homes. “Our body, which was once a vibrant, nourished, living expression of you, slowly becomes a battleground of punishment,” described Delnna.

What happens when you’re body-shamed?

Psychologically, it creates a split between self and self-worth. You begin to look at your body not as a home, but as a problem to be fixed.

Body shaming does affect (Photo: Getty Images/Thinkstock)

The result? “Soup-only diets. Overexercise. Social withdrawal. Shame spirals. And ironically… even after losing weight, many don’t feel better. Because the issue was never the body. It was the emotional rejection. The pain of not being enough,” said Delnna.

What’s the healing antidote?

*Reclaim your relationship with food – not as reward or punishment, but as nourishment.
*Grieve the version of you that was unloved – especially when your younger self was told she was too much or too little.
*Shift the focus from appearance to aliveness.
*Ask yourself: What makes me feel radiant, not just look smaller?
*And most importantly…stop outsourcing your confidence. “Every time we base our self-worth on someone else’s approval – a director, partner, parent, Instagram comments, etc. we abandon a part of ourselves,” said Delnna.

“Rubina’s story is not just hers. It’s a mirror for many women who were made to feel they had to change to be loved. But beauty is not created by diet. It’s created by safety. By self-respect. By choosing to be gentle with your body… even when the world isn’t,” Delnna said.