‘Choices that go against what you’ve heard’: Priyanka Chopra on unlearning ‘good girl’ rules; expert breaks down the psychology

These reflections echo the pressures many people face when choosing careers, relationships, or lifestyles that don’t neatly fit into what they were taught growing up. The deeper question becomes: What actually happens to a person’s confidence, autonomy, and long-term fulfilment when they choose boldness over conformity?

This is where insights from a psychologist can help unpack what real-life ‘boldness’ looks like, and why it matters.

Healthy boldness vs. impulsiveness

Psychologist Rasshi Gurnani tells indianexpress.com, “Priyanka Chopra’s idea that ‘bold girls make history’ aligns closely with what psychology defines as healthy boldness — a blend of agency, self-trust, and measured risk-taking. Unlike impulsiveness, which is driven by poor inhibition and emotional reactivity, healthy boldness is deliberate. It comes from self-efficacy, a belief in one’s ability to influence outcomes, and ego strength, the psychological capacity to tolerate uncertainty without collapsing under anxiety.”

When people make bold choices consciously rather than reactively, Gurnani adds, they expand their sense of identity through what psychologists call experiential growth—each action reinforces a more authentic and autonomous self-concept. 

Kinds of internal or external barriers that typically prevent people from making unconventional choices

What often gets in the way of unconventional choices “are internalised schemas and external pressures,” says Gurnani, adding that internally, people battle cognitive distortions like catastrophising or overgeneralisation, which exaggerate the perceived risk of stepping out of line. Many also carry core beliefs rooted in childhood conditioning that prioritise compliance over agency. 

“Externally, there are cultural norms, gendered expectations, and the fear of social sanctions. Humans are wired for belonging, so the threat of rejection activates the brain’s social pain networks, making conformity feel safer even when it contradicts personal goals. These forces create a psychological friction that keeps people from choosing what they intuitively know is right for their future,” notes the expert. 

Navigating guilt or fear while still honouring their desire to make bold, self-directed decisions

When choices clash with family or societal expectations, Gurnani admits that guilt and fear become natural emotional responses because they signal potential loss of approval. Navigating these emotions requires emotional regulation, where individuals learn to hold discomfort without abandoning their autonomy. 

“Techniques like self-compassion, boundary-setting, and reframing guilt as evidence of growth rather than wrongdoing help create inner stability. It also helps to build a secure internal locus of control, reminding oneself that responsibility for one’s life ultimately lies within, not in external validation,” states Gurnani.