‘Suddenly I felt…’: Masaba Gupta on dealing with delayed postpartum emotions ‘over a year’ after giving birth to baby girl; expert on how common this is

The conversation highlighted how a child’s growing independence can unexpectedly trigger emotional waves. In response to Masaba’s observation, Sania added, “Oh, she’s one-year-old, wait till she’s like 16.” Masaba laughed but also acknowledged the enormity of it, “Yeah, can you imagine? I don’t know what I’m gonna be when that happens.”

Yet beneath the humour was a feeling many mothers quietly grapple with: a sense of a life split into two chapters. As she put it, “But I just think that suddenly I felt this feeling that ‘Oh my god, my life is now over. But it’s also beginning again’.”

What causes postpartum feelings to emerge later, and how typical is this pattern?

Sonal Khangarot, a licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, tells indianexpress.com, “Many mothers, like Masaba, experience a delayed emotional response months after childbirth because the first year is marked by survival mode. In the early months, hormonal shifts, constant caregiving and external support often buffer deeper emotions. Around 9–12 months, hormones stabilise, routines settle, and the brain finally has the capacity to process what was previously suppressed.”

At the same time, she adds, the baby becomes more demanding with mobility, teething and separation anxiety, increasing the mother’s mental load. Sleep deprivation also accumulates and begins to affect mood more sharply. As the initial rush fades, mothers confront identity changes, unmet support needs, and unresolved birth trauma that resurface only when life slows down. This leads to late-onset postpartum sadness, irritability, anxiety, or a sense of being overwhelmed. 

 

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How a child’s growing independence triggers emotional or identity changes in parents

A child’s growing independence often creates an emotional shift for mothers because it marks the end of the intense, all-consuming early caregiving phase. Khangarot notes, “When the baby begins to explore, crawl, or play without constant help, mothers finally get mental space to reflect — often triggering delayed emotions they hadn’t processed earlier. This transition can bring up a mix of relief, pride, and unexpected grief over the baby no longer needing them in the same way. It also highlights identity changes: who they were before motherhood, who they are now, and what they may have put aside. Many mothers feel guilt, loss, or renewed self-awareness during this stage.”

Navigate a sense of loss and renewal while caregiving

Mothers often feel that ‘life is over, but also beginning again’ because early parenthood involves both loss and renewal. “The loss comes from giving up former freedoms, routines, ambitions, and parts of identity that defined them before the baby. The renewal comes from forming a new purpose, deeper emotional bonds, and rediscovering themselves through motherhood,” mentions Khangarot.

Navigating this requires acknowledging both realities without guilt—grieving what has changed while embracing what is unfolding.