‘Single mother kya hota hai’: Sanjeeda Shaikh on overcoming societal labels and embracing motherhood

“Main toh bahut hi khushnaseeb insaan hu ki mere saath jo bhi hua hai life mein… maybe uss waqt mujhe laga hoga arey (I consider myself a very lucky person for everything that has happened to me in life… Maybe at that time, I must have thought) I am the most depressed person or I am really sad and what is happening with me, what is happening with my life. But, to overcome all of that and to think like that and to be happy with this version of myself, I am blessed.”

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by HAUTERRFLY | A Fork Media Group Co. (@hauterrfly) 

This perspective opens up a broader conversation about parenting without labels. It challenges the stereotypes surrounding how parents, particularly mothers, are categorised based on their personal circumstances. 

How do societal labels like ‘single parent’ influence perceptions of parenting?

Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, says, “Societal labels like ‘single parent’ often carry a perception of something being incomplete, as if a vital piece of the family puzzle is missing. This viewpoint, shaped by societal norms, can lead to judgments or assumptions that the parent might not be doing enough or that the child is at a disadvantage.”

For parents, she adds, this can create feelings of guilt or inadequacy, as though they need to overcompensate to prove their capability. For children, hearing or internalising these labels might lead to a sense of missing out, wondering if their family dynamic is “less than” because it doesn’t align with traditional ideals. “These perceptions, though external, can deeply influence the emotional well-being of both the parent and the child, even when their bond and efforts are strong. Recognising and challenging these biases is essential to support diverse family structures.”

It’s not about being ‘as good as’ any other parent; there’s no real difference in the capacity to love, nurture, and guide a child. (Source: Freepik)

Challenges and advantages of parenting without adhering to labels

Baruah explains that the advantages lie in the freedom it offers — parenting becomes less about fitting into societal molds and more about focusing on the unique needs of the child. It’s not about being ‘as good as’ any other parent; there’s no real difference in the capacity to love, nurture, and guide a child.

“However, challenges often arise due to societal norms and external pressures. For example, in educational or social settings, questions about family structures can sometimes make parents feel judged or excluded. Legal matters, too, may be complicated by forms and systems designed for traditional family units, unintentionally creating hurdles,” she states. 

From a psychological perspective, Baruah mentions, the absence of labels can also leave parents navigating a gray area where they feel the need to justify their choices or prove their adequacy. Children might pick up on these societal biases, potentially questioning their family dynamic, not because of any lack within their home but because of external cues.

The psychologist recommends, “Navigating these challenges requires resilience and self-awareness, both for parents and children. Emphasising open communication, focusing on strengths, and fostering an environment of acceptance can help counteract societal pressures and build confidence in the family dynamic.”