‘Usne mera time note kar lia tha’: Actor Pratibha Ranta on being stalked; how to safely confront and call them out

She continued to add that he would do this everyday. “Har dinn, usne mera time note kar lia tha… and mujhe samajh nahi aa raha hai ki yaar main kya bolu isey, main ghar aa ke itna weird feel karti thi. Phir ek dinn maine bol dia, again, poori himmat, aur wo himmat gather karne mein mere ko toh bahut time lagta tha… paanch che dinn chale jaate the uske baad main himmat gather karti thi aur bolti thi. Aur uss dinn phir bola ki, ‘what are you doing? Main kabse dekh rahi hu tu mujhe follow kar raha hai’ (Every day, he had memorised my timings, and I couldn’t figure out what to say to him. When I got home, I would feel so weird. Then one day, I finally said something — it took a lot of courage. And gathering that courage would take me so long, sometimes five or six days would pass before I could muster the strength to speak up. That day, I finally said, “What are you doing? I’ve been noticing you following me for a while now’).”

After the confrontation, Ranta said that she never saw that boy again, and later on, after she grew older, she got to know from common friends that that boy used to like her and that’s why he was following her. “Par usey kabhi himmat nahi hui mujhse poochne ki ki (But he never had the courage to ask me), ‘Will you be my friend?’ or whatever,” she mentioned, adding that at the time, it wasn’t common to simply approach a girl and ask her out. As a result, she found herself creating stories in her mind, driven by fear.

 

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Stalking in public spaces are experiences many people endure. Learning how to recognise unsafe situations, assert boundaries, and respond effectively can empower individuals to protect themselves.

How can someone effectively assert boundaries and communicate with a stalker in a way that prioritises their safety?

Gurleen Baruah, existential psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “Communicating with a stalker really depends on the situation, cultural context, specific place and time, as well as factors like maturity, approachability, and the stalker’s perceived intent. Before drawing any boundaries or making assumptions, it’s important to identify patterns in their behaviour. Do they repeatedly check timings? Do they know your routines or where you go? Have they changed their own routines to align with yours?”

If this pattern becomes evident, she says, and ignoring them doesn’t deter the behaviour, one approach could involve directly addressing the stalker — if it feels safe and feasible. For instance, you might ask them if they’ve been following you or express your discomfort with their actions. Keep the communication brief, firm, and neutral to avoid escalation. However, this is only advisable if there’s no immediate risk of harm or violence.

Baruah asserts, “If direct communication doesn’t work, or if the situation feels unsafe, it’s critical to seek help from professionals. This could involve contacting law enforcement, seeking legal measures like restraining orders, or working with victim support organisations.”

Keep the communication brief, firm, and neutral to avoid escalation. (Source: Freepik)

What to do if you feel unsafe in public places