‘I didn’t look like my mother or sister’: Khushi Kapoor on beauty standards and how childhood scrutiny affected her self-esteem

So, how does constant comparison impact self esteem and confidence in a child?

Kesha Bhavsar, psychologist, Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust tells indianexpress.com that judgments and comparisons based on looks and appearances can significantly impact children’s mental health and lead to poor self image, body image issues, and feelings of inadequacy and major confidence issues. Children are at a vulnerable stage of development, and the messages they receive about physical appearance can shape their self-worth, identity and perspectives about themselves for life.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by ᴋʜᴜsʜɪ ᴋᴀᴘᴏᴏʀ (@khushikapoor)

“When children are constantly judged based on their looks, chances are they may internalise these judgments, believing their value is attached to how they appear externally. This can lead to body dissatisfaction, as children may strive to meet unrealistic beauty standards set by society, peers, or media. Such comparisons can create a sense of failure or anxiety, or other mental health disorders like body dysmorphia, inferiority complex especially when children feel they do not measure up to these standards,” she explained.

Moreover, when children are observing adults or peers making appearance-based judgements, they may learn to value others solely on their looks, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and unrealistic expectations. These attitudes can hamper the development of healthy relationships, emotional resilience, and empathy.

According to Bhavsar, parents are the first mode of learning an communication, they need to be aware to not milage such comments seven unintentionally. Instead of criticising their children, she encouraged parents to emphasize that self-worth is not determined by just appearance.

“Praising qualities like kindness, intelligence, creativity, and hard work can help children understand that their value comes from who they are on the inside, not just how they look. Create a safe space where children feel safe to discuss their feelings about their appearance. Parents should listen with empathy and avoid dismissing their concerns,” she pointed out. This helps children feel heard and understood, reducing the negative emotional impact of appearance-related issues.