“I use the definition of self-confidence to be the ability or the belief to believe in yourself, to accomplish any task, no matter the odds, no matter the difficulty, no matter the adversity. The belief that you can accomplish it, [is] self-confidence,” says athletic director and head coach of the varsity soccer team for Ryerson University, Dr Ivan Joseph.
In his TED talk, Dr Joseph explains why self-confidence is a skill, and the ways in which one can become more self-confident.
“The easiest way to build self-confidence — repetition, repetition, repetition,” he says. “Practise, practise, practise, and do not accept failure. Maybe it shouldn’t be repetition, maybe the answer should be persistence. Because we all repeat something but very few of us really will persist. So that’s one way to build self-confidence. Get out there. Do what you want to do and do not accept ‘no’.” He gives the example of Thomas Edison and reaffirms this statement.
“The other one is self-talk… We know that our thoughts influence actions; why do we want to say that negative self-talk to ourselves? We need to get our own self-affirmations,” he says. Dr Joseph goes on to recall how in his periods of self-doubt, he wrote the ‘future-him’ a letter, enlisting the accomplishments he’s proud of, and to remind himself to be confident.
“I’m gonna tell you of one way you can build self-confidence in others,” he says. “Catch them when they’re good. We forget it. It’s simple.”
He explains how instead of correcting negative behaviours of one, praise positive behaviours of others, so that the person’s self confidence doesn’t get shot down, and they also learn how to do the task right.
Quoting a video shown to the audience previously, he concludes: “Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes. We’re supposed to be different, folks. And when people look at us, believe in yourself.”
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