May 18, 2021 8:15:13 am
“When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak, when you ask people about belonging, they’ll tell you their most excruciating experiences of being excluded. When you ask people about connection, the stories they told me were about disconnection,” said Brené Brown in her TEDx Talk on the power of vulnerability.
The American researcher said when she was exploring the concept of connection, she realised building connections came down to shame, the question loomed whether they were ‘worthy of connection’.
She said, “The thing that underpinned this was excruciating vulnerability. In order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.” She added that those who don’t experience shame, cannot experience human empathy or compassion.
In her research — when she began looking at the behaviours of ‘whole-hearted’ people — she realised these people “have a strong sense of love and belonging, believe that they are worthy of love and connection. These people fully embrace vulnerability, vulnerability made them beautiful”.
Brown said when we choose to numb hard, negative and uncomfortable emotions, we also numb joy, happiness and gratitude, and then lack purpose and meaning, leading us to feel vulnerable. She said it’s important to understand that “you’re imperfect and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging”.
Brown said when we embrace our vulnerabilities, believe that we worthy and enough. “Then, we stop screaming and start listening, we’re kinder and gentler to the people around us, and we’re kinder and gentler to ourselves.”
📣 The Indian Express is now on Telegram. Click here to join our channel (@indianexpress) and stay updated with the latest headlines
- The Indian Express website has been rated GREEN for its credibility and trustworthiness by Newsguard, a global service that rates news sources for their journalistic standards.