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Here’s how you can break free from your fears: ‘Expect the best even when you fear the worst’

"...can we unlearn our fears? If we can learn our fears, we can also unlearn it fortunately."

By: Lifestyle Desk | New Delhi |
December 23, 2021 8:20:32 am
how to overcome your fears, life positive, indian express newsManoj Vasudevan shares how you can overcome your deepest fears. (Photo: Pexels)

As an adult, Manoj Vasudevan, an international speaker, an author, coach, and consultant, was asked to jump into the deep end of the swimming pool by his instructor. After he let everyone else in the class jump before him, he was the only one left. He stood at the edge of the pool, simply unable to jump in. “I can’t jump, I won’t jump and I didn’t jump. I wondered why? It took me years to find out an answer.”

Vasudevan goes to to say, “You see sometimes your fear are not about life threatening situations. Sometimes our fears are less traumatic and more problematic. Something that stopped you from living your truest potential.”

Later in the video, Vasudevan asks, “You see, the first question is, are you born with your fears? Are you born with your fears? The answer is yes and no.” He says that based on research, we are only born with two kinds of fears: the fear of falling, and the fear of loud noises. “So what about the rest of the fears? Where did you get it from?” he asks.

He cites examples of a fear of strangers, of God, and our own share of negative experiences. “Our fears have helped us from survive from predators, natural disasters. It’s serves a purpose. But the question is, can we unlearn our fears? If we can learn our fears, we can also unlearn it fortunately.”

Citing the fear of public speaking as the biggest fear of all as per research, he says, “So to overcome your fear of public speaking, you’d have an expectancy, expectation that things are going to go fine, the ability to believe in the unbelievable.” He further goes on to state, “Number two, the value we associate for that outcome, which means our expectations drive our behaviors. When I was nine years old, my neighbor’s dog chased me and on that day I became the fastest runner on Earth, and I stopped trusting dogs. Now, the thing is not all dogs are going to chase you. So here’s the thing — Expect the best, even when you fear the worst.”

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