‘I sank like a rock’: Lara Dutta recalls near-fatal shoot with Akshay Kumar that gave her a crippling phobia until age 30; expert on dealing with lingering trauma

What followed is equally telling. The experience left behind a deep fear of water, something many people can relate to after a traumatic event. Years later, when Kumar encouraged her to take on a role in the film Blue that required underwater work, her instinct was to refuse. Reflecting on that moment, she shared, “At 30, he asked me to learn diving. I said mai hi pagal mili hu (I’m the only mad one here),” capturing both the hesitation and disbelief that often accompany being asked to face a fear head-on. Despite this, she went on to learn to swim and gradually overcame the fear the earlier incident had created.

Her experience highlights how people process fear, trauma, and recovery differently, and raises broader questions about resilience, exposure, and emotional healing after distressing events.

After a highly distressing experience, what kind of psychological responses are most common?

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “After a near-death or highly distressing experience, individuals commonly show acute stress responses such as hypervigilance, intrusive memories, sleep disturbance, emotional numbness, and heightened startle reactions. Drawing from The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, trauma is not only remembered cognitively but stored in the body, often surfacing through somatic symptoms like tension, fatigue, or unexplained pain. People may also experience dissociation, where they feel detached from themselves or reality as a protective mechanism.”

She continues, “Insights from How We Die by Sherwin B. Nuland highlight how proximity to death can disrupt one’s sense of control and existential stability, leading to anxiety or existential questioning. Lingering trauma can be recognised when these responses persist, impair functioning, or create a chronic sense of unsafety.”

Is confronting a fear an effective way to heal?

Confronting a fear linked to a past traumatic experience can be therapeutic, but only when approached with adequate psychological safety and pacing. Khangarot mentions, “Trauma work, as highlighted by Bessel van der Kolk, emphasises that healing is not about forced exposure but about restoring a sense of control and safety in the body. Gradual, supported exposure—often referred to as titration—can help individuals reclaim agency and reduce avoidance.’

However, if someone confronts the fear too abruptly or without emotional regulation skills, it can lead to retraumatisation, reinforcing fear rather than resolving it. “From an existential lens, as discussed by Sherwin B. Nuland, confronting experiences tied to mortality or vulnerability can stir deep anxiety, which requires careful processing. Effective healing lies in balancing courage with containment, ensuring that the individual feels resourced, supported, and in control throughout the process,” states Khangarot.

Healthy, gradual ways for individuals to rebuild confidence

Rebuilding confidence after trauma requires a gradual, regulated approach that prioritises safety over speed. Khangarot says, “Drawing from the work of Bessel van der Kolk, one of the most effective methods is titrated exposure—breaking the feared situation into small, manageable steps so the nervous system can adapt without becoming overwhelmed. Alongside this, developing body-based awareness through grounding techniques, breathwork, or movement helps individuals stay anchored in the present rather than reliving past distress.”

It is also important to track emotional thresholds—stopping before distress escalates into panic—so that each experience reinforces safety rather than fear. “Supportive therapeutic relationships or safe social connections further buffer this process,” concludes Khangarot.