‘Everything is hard. These kids don’t listen’: Why Kareena Kapoor Khan’s brutally honest parenting post is the mental relief parents actually need

While the viral quote leans into comedy, it also opens up an important conversation about expectations, resilience, and the mental load that caregivers carry every day.

How can unrealistic expectations about easy solutions affect parents’ mental well-being?

Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “Parents chase hacks because they are tired — not just physically, but emotionally tired of feeling like nothing they do is ever enough. Parenting today happens in isolation, under constant observation, with very little room for mistakes. Hacks sell hope. They suggest that if you just do this one thing, life will feel manageable again. When that doesn’t happen — which is most of the time — parents turn the frustration inward. They don’t think that this advice was unrealistic; they think that something is wrong with me.” 

 

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A post shared by Kareena Kapoor Khan (@kareenakapoorkhan) 

In Indian families, he adds, where parents already feel scrutinised by relatives, schools, and society, this belief quietly erodes self-worth. Over time, normal parenting stress becomes anxiety, self-doubt, and emotional burnout — not because parenting is failing, but because expectations were never realistic to begin with.

Why does parenting often feel consistently challenging?

“Because children are not meant to be easy,” reveals Raj, adding that their brains grow through testing, pushing, resisting, and emotionally falling apart.  When parents respond thoughtfully instead of reactively, the work becomes harder, not easier. You’re regulating yourself while someone else is dysregulated, day after day. There’s also no phase where things settle neatly. 

He mentions that as soon as sleep improves, emotions explode. “When emotions settle, independence brings conflict. Indian parents are also managing layered pressures —  academic expectations, family opinions, cultural values — all while trying to be emotionally available. Parenting feels relentlessly hard because growth is relentless. If it feels challenging even when you’re trying your best, it usually means you’re actually paying attention.”

Practical mindset shifts that can help parents cope with the daily chaos and reduce guilt 

The biggest shift is this: stop treating difficulty as a sign of failure. A child struggling doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. “Second, focus less on staying calm and more on coming back after you lose it. Repair matters far more than control. Third, stop measuring your parenting by your child’s behaviour on any given day. Children can have bad days without it meaning anything about your competence. Lastly, allow parenting to look imperfect. Homes are noisy. Parents get irritated. Things fall apart. That’s real life. When parents stop performing parenting and start living it, guilt loosens its grip — and confidence quietly follows,” concludes Raj.