Gentle parenting, strict boundaries, and respecting a child’s autonomy—mention these terms to your grandparents, and they would probably draw a blank. But Kajol understands them intimately. In a recent interview, the actor opened up about her highly disciplined upbringing.
“My mother was very strict. She beat me up a lot. According to my mother, I couldn’t digest food until I was beaten up a couple of times. And she beat me up with everything. My mother has thrown books at me,” Kajol told Mashable India, adding, “I had a very good upbringing. She prepared me for life”.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
Reflecting on her statement, Muskan Marwah, a psychologist at Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust, shared that parenting is a delicate balance of providing guidance, structure, and love while allowing children the space to grow and learn independently. “One of the most challenging tasks parents face is finding the right balance between being strict and overbearing. While boundaries are necessary for development, overstepping those boundaries can have unintended consequences,” she said.
Jasneet Kaur, mental health expert and co-founder of Unfazed Therapy, added that harsh discipline, in the form of physical abuse, can have long-term negative effects on a child’s emotional and mental well-being. “It can create emotional insecurity and chronic stress, and children can find it difficult to feel safe in their home environment. This impacts their ability to trust, which then leads to impaired emotional regulation, with difficulty managing feelings like anger or frustration,” she said, adding that it can also harm the self-esteem of children, making them feel worthless or fearful of making mistakes.
Is it discipline or going overboard?
Marwah believes strict parenting often involves setting clear rules, high expectations, and consequences for behaviors. Children benefit from structure and routine, which give them a sense of security. “When parents enforce rules consistently and provide clear guidelines, children develop decision-making skills and responsibility,” she shared, adding that the main thing is to be supportive. Parents should explain why rules are in place and offer positive reinforcement when their child follows them, she said.
And while setting boundaries is essential, overbearing parenting involves excessive control over every action, decision, and social interaction. This can lead to feelings of being stifled or misunderstood.
“Overbearing behavior may include micromanaging, imposing unrealistic expectations, or demanding perfection, which can cause anxiety, frustration, and a lack of self-confidence in children,” she elaborated. Overbearing parenting can drive children away emotionally. Adolescents, in particular, need to assert their independence, and constant control can prevent this growth. As a result, children may rebel, withdraw, or develop strained relationships with their parents,” said the psychologist.
Striking the right balance is key.
Here’s how
Marwah recommended a few strategies parents can adopt to maintain this precarious balance:
1. Set clear, consistent boundaries: Establish age-appropriate rules and consistently enforce them with reasonable consequences.
2. Foster open communication: Create a safe space for children to share their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
3. Encourage independence: Allow children to make decisions within structured boundaries, supporting age-appropriate risks.
4. Praise effort, not perfection: Emphasize the importance of effort and progress over perfection, fostering a growth mindset.
5. Be supportive, not controlling: Offer emotional support while refraining from micromanaging your child’s actions.
6. Adjust expectations based on developmental stages: Tailor your approach to your child’s age and maturity level.
Kajol has been trending on Google for the past 24 hours.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
Kajol reflects on her strict childhood. (Source: Instagram/@kajol) 
Share
