Kajol on her children finding their individuality despite growing up famous: ‘…that’s been my biggest teaching as a parent’

“I am very happy to say that I have brought up two individuals who have their own personality, who I have taught to think for themselves, and I think that’s been my biggest teaching as a parent,” she added.

Rima Bhandekar, Mpower Helpline, at Aditya Birla Education Trust, said that Kajol’s parenting style focuses on letting children be independent and grow into their own. This style of parenting focuses on providing children ample independence and distance to develop and at the same time support when required, and is very different from helicopter parenting where parents are around all the time. Such parents let their children know that their assistance is available when wanted by the children,” she explained.

According to her, the aim of such parenting is to encourage children to explore on their own, and learn alongside, thus boosting their internal confidence naturally to solve issues and make independent decisions. “A parent may encourage their children to try new activities and face challenges without the parent promptly helping them. The central concept is to let children navigate their own understanding of their world and develop competencies, while parents are there to guide as necessary,” said Bhandekar.

Kajol and Nysa (Source: Instagram/@kajol)

The good and bad

Such independence focused parenting comes with its own set of challenges and pitfalls:

· Children start handling challenges themselves without expecting parents to scoop in for them.

· Their confidence develops gradually through trial-and-error learning, and they know they can succeed after initial failure.

· Children develop an understanding of various situations and how they feel in those, and how to face others with confidence.

· Children face less pressure from their parents to conform, and develop at their own pace

· However, some children may not be able to cope with too much independence as it may leave them feeling disorganized or overpowered, or may not know when to call for help.

· Few may also need help with controlling their impulsive behaviour with clear-cut instructions, parental expectations and discipline, without which there could be issues in social or academic settings

“It is easier for stay-at-home parents to devote more time to oversee and guide children as per their individual needs. Working parents will need support and keep open pathways of communication with their children when parents are away at work, and involve children in the process of decision-making about small but important things when they are at home,” concluded Bhandekar.