‘I go into my shell and…’: John Abraham on avoiding gossip and keeping things private about his life; expert on how all of us can guard personal boundaries

His daily routine, he says, also plays a role in this low-profile lifestyle. “I never went to parties even before I got married. I have always chosen to stay out because the music is too loud, and I don’t drink alcohol. I have a problem with alcohol because my father loves his single malt. I sleep very early and I wake up at 4-4:30 am. I read as much as I can after waking up, and I devour world news,” he stated. 

John Abraham with his wife Priya Runchal (Source: Express Photo by Renuka Puri)

Practical ways to protect personal boundaries and keep aspects of life private in a highly connected, digital age

Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “Privacy today is less about disappearing from public view and more about being intentional in what you choose to share. It starts with deciding which parts of your life are non negotiably yours, such as relationships, family moments, or personal routines, and holding that line even when it feels tempting to share.”

Limit real-time updates, turn off location tags, and view social media as a curated window rather than a full diary, he says, adding, “A useful habit is to share only after the moment has passed, so it remains yours before it belongs to the internet. Even small pauses before posting help you check if sharing aligns with your values. When privacy is treated as a consistent habit, you remain in control of your own story.”

How can having a disciplined daily routine influence one’s mental health and ability to stay focused on personal goals?

Raj states that a steady routine offers the mind “a sense of stability,” which is deeply calming. Waking early creates a pocket of stillness before the day’s demands, allowing space for reading, reflection, or movement. Keeping late-night socialising minimal protects natural sleep patterns, which directly influences mood, focus, and emotional balance. 

Over time, he says, this rhythm reduces mental clutter and sharpens attention, making it easier to work toward long-term goals. 

Benefits of avoiding gossip, public scrutiny, or constant external validation

Avoiding gossip and the need for constant approval is like lowering the background noise in your mind. Gossip keeps attention fixed on other people’s lives, while validation-seeking ties self-worth to shifting opinions. Stepping away protects emotional energy and strengthens your connection to your own values. “Over time, this brings a quieter mind, greater focus, and a deeper sense of who you are. The more you choose calm over noise, the more natural it becomes to live for yourself rather than for an audience,” concludes Raj.