‘They called her a homewrecker’: Janhvi Kapoor confronts the cruelty Sridevi faced and the ‘bad decisions’ she made after mother’s death; expert weighs in

Janhvi also spoke candidly about her personal struggles following her mother’s death, admitting, “I try to escape my mind, my inner turmoil. The feelings that I haven’t dealt with, the trauma that I haven’t dealt with. The biggest trauma was losing my mom, especially the way I did, in front of the whole world and dealing with that journey.” She described how deeply dependent she had been growing up: “I was a very dependent daughter. I didn’t make my own decisions. I would depend on her for that. What should I wear? What should I think? What is wrong and right? Everything. So suddenly to make your own decisions with the world ripping you apart, making accusations on family dynamics…”

In the aftermath, she acknowledged making difficult choices while navigating grief and vulnerability. “I made some bad decisions and let some people into my life that had no business being anywhere near me and taking advantage of me the way that they did. I was not putting myself in a safe space. I was compromising my mental and physical safety constantly,” she said. Reflecting on the depth of her loss, she added, “I cannot get over the pain of losing my mom. There is no one like her. I miss how funny she was. I miss who she made me, my sister and my father. I didn’t lose one parent, I lost my father also that day, the version of him that existed when she was around.” She concluded with a poignant thought: “I don’t think she would be able to recognise me now. The world has changed. I have seen things. I have opinions of my own that are not the opinions that she had. I don’t know what that interaction would look like.”

How does losing a parent impact a person’s emotional development and sense of identity over time?

Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “Losing a parent suddenly shakes the foundation of one’s emotional world. When this happens in public, grief becomes complicated by expectation. The person is often required to stay composed while still processing what has happened. Clinically, we see a split emerge. One part functions, meets demands, and stays articulate. Another remains suspended at the moment of loss.”

 

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Over time, he states that this can show up as emotional distance, difficulty trusting stability, or a quiet sense of being unanchored. A parent is not just a caregiver but also a psychological reference point. Their absence can unsettle one’s sense of oneself in the world. Healing is rarely about moving on. It is about integrating the loss so the self can feel continuous again, even amid absence.

Why do people sometimes make vulnerable or risky decisions while dealing with unresolved grief or trauma?

“Unresolved grief destabilises the nervous system,” explains Raj, adding that it creates pressure to escape the weight of what is felt, and decisions are often made urgently rather than thoughtfully. People may dive into relationships, overcommit to work, or seek quick relief in ways that bring temporary comfort but long-term consequences. These are not failures of judgment. They are attempts to regulate overwhelming emotion.

“Protection comes from learning to pause. Delaying important decisions, checking in with someone steady, and creating small routines that slow reaction can make a difference. Naming the emotion clearly, loneliness, anger, or fear, reduces the compulsion to act it out. Learning to sit with discomfort is a skill that strengthens resilience,” says Raj.