‘Having a mental health condition made me believe I was weak’: People recount experiences living with bipolar disorder

Similarly, for Sarah, who goes by her first name, her father’s demise is what triggered her symptoms. “On his third death anniversary, when I visited his grave, many painful memories — from him slipping into coma till his burial came ushering back. There was this deep vacuum his death had left in my life,” she told indianexpress.com, adding that her mother — whom she needed the most at such a time — also became a recluse, “which precipitated feelings of abandonment and loss.”

On seeking help, Sarah was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which made her extremely overwhelmed and disappointed with her “whole reality crumbling down.” However, with time, Sarah has reached a level of stability. Besides therapy and medication, what helped Sarah the most was accepting herself for all her follies and eccentricities. She also decided to go outdoors more frequently to break her chain of thoughts. “I went to various events around the city, explored places, attended mental health talks and exhibitions, began painting and writing poetry, which helped me develop a sense of individuality and independence,” she said.

Shukla, now 33, however, was asked to resign from her job after she disclosed her illness. In another workplace, she was even denied an increment when her superiors became aware of her ailment.

But, it is not just their story. According to the World Health Organization, 40 million people experienced bipolar disorder in 2019. However, the exact estimate is touted to be much more as many people remain undiagnosed due to the lack of mental health support and the prevailing stigma against the illness, which inhibits people from seeking help.

What is bipolar disorder?

Contrary to popular belief, bipolar disorder is not the same as regular mood swings, experts stress. “People suffering from bipolar disorder have intense shifts in mood. They might experience mania or hypomania — an extremely elevated and euphoric mood, which includes a sudden inflation in self-esteem, feelings of grandiosity, high levels of energy, racing thoughts, decreased need for sleep and risky decision making. On the other hand, during a depressive episode, they might face sadness, loss of interest in activities, decreased energy, hopelessness, worthlessness and oftentimes suicidal thoughts,” said Suranjana Ghatak Choudhury, clinical psychologist, Mind Quest Well-being, explaining that while the exact cause of the illness is unknown, there is an intermix of biological, physical, environmental and social factors that might lead to the disorder.

On similar lines, Vishnupriya Bhagirath, family counselor, Kerala State Social Welfare Board, said that researchers studying the disorder have several theories to explain how this condition develops. “There might be an imbalance of neurochemicals, family history of mental illness, stressful situations, neglect, grief, alcohol or substance abuse, loneliness and isolation, as well as childhood trauma, which might lead to symptoms of bipolar disorder,” she noted.

Can a change in lifestyle help?

According to Dr Dinika Anand, Clinical Psychologist, BLK-Max Super Speciality Hospital, certain lifestyle changes can indeed help benefit people with bipolar disorder. “While adherence to medication and psychotherapeutic support can ensure that a person with bipolar disorder is able to lead a healthy, fruitful life, it is also important for individuals to create and maintain routine in their lives, which entails adequate sleep, daily exercise and a balanced, healthy diet,” adding that alcohol, smoking and recreational drugs can exacerbate the illness.

Contrary to popular belief, bipolar disorder is not the same as regular mood swings. (Source: Freepik)

Myths associated with bipolar disorder

Experts point out that one of the biggest myths linked with bipolar disorder is that “people having the illness are inherently dangerous and violent”. “When it comes to mania, over the ages, aspects of it have been depicted in popular culture without any primary research or detailed inputs. From comic relief to horror, the varying depictions do not show reality, and either trivialise or exaggerate the situation, which terrifies or stops people from seeking help,” said Bhagirath.

Adding, Anand said, “Awareness, understanding and perceptions of mental health in our socio-cultural narratives are extremely limited and narrow, which leads to stigma and stereotypes about mental health. Media representations appear to be rooted in ideas of madness. Even in the case of bipolar disorder, the portrayal of mania either involves a person ‘winning’ at life—creativity, getting more work done, lighting up the room with their energy–or at the other extreme—a person who is enraged, violent and volatile,” adding that there is seldom any nuance or representation that goes beyond the behavioural aspects and delves into the burden of experiencing these highs or lows.

The proliferation of these myths, in our popular imagination, has caused great harm to people with bipolar disorder. As such, they face discrimination in every sphere of their life. “There is still a long way to go before there is sensitisation among people about various mental health concerns. Raising awareness at the community level, building a supportive environment, increasing affordability and accessibility of treatment and psychoeducation of individuals can help recognise early warning signs of bipolar disorder,” Choudhury stressed.

Concluding, she said, “Mental illness is just one part of a person’s life, and not their whole identity. A person with bipolar disorder can lead an equally or more successful, healthy and fulfilling life than a person without it.”

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