Akshaye Khanna once admitted frustration over marriage questions: ‘After Salman Khan…It’s so irritating’

In another interview snippet, he told Vickey Lalwani in 2018, “Not that I don’t believe in the institution of marriage. Marriage is not for me. That I know for sure. It’s not something that makes sense to me because of the way I am. Tomorrow, your wife can leave you, or a husband can leave the wife. I like my own space.”

Quite visibly, society still treats marriage as a moral milestone rather than a personal choice, and anyone who steps outside that script is subtly, or sometimes aggressively, questioned. So, what does it communicate from a psychological perspective? “The irritation is not about the question alone,” shared psychotherapist and life coach Delnna Rrajesh.

It is about the repeated invalidation of autonomy. “When strangers feel entitled to interrogate someone’s life choices, the message being conveyed is simple. Your contentment is not trusted unless it resembles the norm. What is particularly important in such conversations is the honesty around responsibility. Many people enter marriage and parenthood without ever being allowed to say what they truly feel about it. Responsibility is romanticised, moralised, and glorified, but rarely discussed in terms of temperament, capacity, or desire. Not everyone is wired to hold the emotional, relational, and logistical weight that comes with being responsible for a partner and children. Acknowledging that truth is not selfish. It is being self-aware,” expressed Delnna.

Problems arise when society insists on one model of adulthood and labels everything else as avoidance, immaturity, or fear, added Delnna.

There is also an uncomfortable truth that people rarely confront. Marriage does not guarantee stability. “Commitment does not immunise against loss, separation, or loneliness. Some individuals are acutely aware of this and choose a life in which they take responsibility only for themselves, rather than risk resentment, burnout, or emotional withdrawal later. This is not cynicism. It is realism,” asserted Delnna.

She shared that many adults who remain single are not avoiding responsibility. “They are exercising discernment. They understand the weight of commitment and refuse to take it lightly. This is a form of integrity that deserves respect, not interrogation,” said Delnna.

Sometimes, people don’t want relationships (Photo: Freepik)

What becomes damaging is the constant pressure to justify one’s choices. “Repeated questioning communicates that contentment outside marriage is suspicious. Over time, this creates irritation, defensiveness, and withdrawal, not because the individual is insecure, but because their boundaries are being repeatedly crossed,” elucidated Delnna.

As a society, we need to evolve in our understanding of adulthood. “Marriage is one path, not the path. Responsibility can be shared or singular. Fulfilment can be relational or solitary. None of these are moral failure. The more psychologically healthy approach is simple. Let people choose the life that fits their temperament, values, and nervous system. Trust that adults are capable of knowing what sustains them,” said Delnna.