By Santosh Sharma
We worked on 10,000 successful people to identify the mantra for real success. And what we found was amazing. We found that they have more internal freedom as the Gang of 5 internal villains are not very strong in them.
When this LFEAD in us is right-sized, the hero gets an opportunity to express and design success. We now have the freedom to evolve from a loser to a successful person. This is the success mantra.
Even successful people suffer when these villains in them are blown out of proportion. I spoke to the world number 1 archer Deepika Kumari’s coach on her failure to perform in the London Olympics and then going on to win a medal just after two months in the World Archery Championships. The difference was the level of fear, answered Deepika’s coach. The pressure of the London Olympics took over Deepika and the fear to perform broke her.
Master blaster Sachin Tendulkar also suffered because of LFEAD when he was on the way to his hundredth century. It took him more than one year to get his hundredth century. The attachment to the hundredth century was so high that it was not allowing Sachin to deal with the ball as per the merit of the ball. Concern for the future forced his attention away from the present.
I met many people who want to be entrepreneurs and have wonderful ideas but are not able to quit their job to take the entrepreneurial plunge because they have created their comfort zones and they are not willing to come out of the comfort zone because of fear of failure.
I also spoke to many brilliant students who fail to crack in IITs and IIMs. The reason for many is again the fear of failure. Fear is so high that if they are not able to answer the first few questions they actually break down because the internal communication channel forces them to ask “What-if” questions. The dominant question that holds them is “What will happen if I fail”? Doesn’t this question trouble you very often?
Do not ever ask “What-if” questions. What-if questions pushes you and me to our mental boxes, created by our past conditioning and future concerns forcing us to not give our best or even fail. Now our attention is not in the present, and we create a hypothetical scenario for ourselves like – ‘what will happen if I fail, what will happen if others laugh at me, what will happen if I die’ and so on. This internal communication pushes us into a platform where – ‘we have actually failed, where people are actually laughing at us and where we are actually no more’ respectively. This pollutes and limits the thought that follows. We fail to design a way out of it or we have very limited options. If at all you and i have to prepare for the future, let’s ask “If-then- else” questions. If-then-else questions allow us to incorporate all possibilities as we are not pushed into the uncomfortable boxes creating thought jam.
To achieve success we have to be a designer of the situation and not a controller of it. We can be a designer of the situation only when we ask if-then-else questions. Now the fear of failure is absent and we have the confidence, motivation and the passion to bounce back each time we fall in our journey. This makes us a designer. Now we work with the present and not against it. This keeps our attention deep in the present. Our boxes dissolve and we are free to design the present and the future.
Thinking outside the box can only give us conditional success. Real success embraces us only when we dissolve our boxes. Now the LFEAD is right-sized and the hero in us takes charge.
We conducted another interesting study where we took the feedback of professionals (Engineers, Doctors, CA, MBA’s, Graduates and others) from Fortune 500 companies before and after dissolving the boxes. We found the following change in the key performance indicators that are important to be successful.
If India has to be a genuine superpower then the people in India has to be more confident and motivated, need to have more coping mechanisms, have more – team spirit, creativity, innovation and so on. By dissolving the boxes we are trying to create small wins in people from all the 543 constituencies so that India as a whole becomes successful. When you win, I win and the others win the success will be more inclusive and sustainable.
The writer is the cultivator- Freedom Foundation. He is also the author of “Dissolve the Box” and a visiting faulty at the IIMs. He was given the Star Citizen Honour for 2013 and is fondly known as the freedom man. He has started this new age freedom movement known as Freedom U.0 as he wants to share the success mantra with the others. He was born on 29th June, 1977 in a humble family and had to sell milk door-to-door to continue his studies. He has seen both scarcity and success at a very young age and is now helping people to get the freedom to live, grow, lead, create and act.