The Vicky Kaushal guide to ending a ‘kalesh’: ‘Don’t cater to logic’

This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. 

But how accurate is this advice from a mental health perspective? We reached out to  Dr Anitha Chandra, Consultant – Psychiatry, to break it down.

Why emotions take over during conflicts

According to Dr Chandra, Vicky’s statement reflects a common psychological dynamic seen in arguments.

“In emotionally charged situations, the brain’s limbic system—the emotional centre—tends to dominate over the rational part. This is why logic alone often fails to resolve conflicts when someone is already hurt or overwhelmed,” she explains.

When one person is seeking emotional validation, and the other responds with facts or reasoning, it can feel dismissive—fueling the conflict further.

Vicky Kaushal and Katrina Kaif got married on December 9, 2021 (Image: Instagram/Vicky Kaushal)

Addressing emotions first can calm the situation

Dr Chandra agrees that acknowledging emotions is often the first step to de-escalation.

“When you validate someone’s feelings, it helps them feel heard and understood. This, in turn, reduces emotional intensity and makes them more open to listening,” she says.

Simple responses like “I understand why you’re upset” or “That must have been difficult for you” can go a long way in diffusing tension.

But logic still matters

While emotional validation is important, Dr Chandra cautions against completely ignoring logic. “If you only address emotions and not the underlying issue, the conflict may resurface. Sustainable resolution requires a balance of empathy and rational discussion,” she adds. In other words, emotions may open the door to resolution—but logic helps close it.

When this approach works best

This strategy is especially helpful in:

• Personal relationships (partners, family, close friends)
• Situations where one person feels hurt, unheard, or triggered
• Conflicts driven more by feelings than facts

However, in professional or high-pressure settings, combining emotional intelligence with clear communication is key.

Nevertheless, Vicky Kaushal’s advice highlights an important truth: people need emotional validation before they can engage in logical conversation.

As Dr Chandra explains, the most effective way to handle a “kalesh” is not to choose between emotion and logic—but to use both, in the right order.

This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.