‘If you want to go, you go’: Sonakshi Sinha on choosing to live with her in-laws after marriage; how communication and shared habits ease joint family life

Sonakshi also revealed that before marriage, Zaheer had asked her whether she wanted to live separately from his parents. Her response, however, was clear and confident. “Zaheer had asked me before marriage if I wanted to live separately from my in-laws, but I said no. I told him, ‘I will live with them; if you want to go, you go,’” she shared with a laugh.

On her bond with her mother-in-law, Sonakshi added that neither of them knows how to cook, which is something that has become a point of connection rather than conflict. “I don’t cook at all. My mother cooks so well, and her only thing is that her daughter doesn’t know how to cook. My mother-in-law also doesn’t know how to cook, and she says that you got married in the correct house. She said, ‘Don’t worry, tu sahi ghar pe aayi hai (you have come to the right house).’ I’m fond of eating, but not cooking.”

But how important is it for couples to have open conversations about living arrangements before marriage?

Anjali Gursahaney, psychologist at The Bold Space, tells indianexpress.com, “Open conversations about living arrangements and finances before marriage are crucial because they set the foundation for emotional comfort, autonomy, and clarity in shared life decisions.”

She adds that many couples avoid this discussion, assuming love will naturally resolve logistical issues, but in reality, expectations around space, privacy, and family involvement can deeply impact marital satisfaction. 

From a psychological perspective, Gursahaney notes that these discussions help partners understand each other’s attachment styles, boundaries, and comfort levels with dependence versus independence.

How do shared common habits help in building connection and mutual respect in joint families?

Gursahaney states, “Common traits, even unconventional ones, often foster empathy, laughter, and a sense of belonging. In joint families, where generational differences might otherwise create distance, such shared traits normalise individuality and reduce performance pressure, helping family members relate as people rather than fixed roles.”

Boundaries or communication practices couples can adopt to maintain healthy relationships when living with extended family

For couples living with extended family, Gursahaney explains that maintaining harmony requires clear communication and healthy boundaries. 

“Simple yet powerful practices, like having regular couple check-ins, defining private time, sharing household responsibilities transparently, and setting mutual expectations, can prevent misunderstandings,” she says. 

It also helps to respect the family’s existing dynamics while gently carving out their own. “Practising gratitude, avoiding triangulation in conflicts, and establishing emotional privacy without secrecy allows the couple to stay united as partners while remaining considerate members of the larger family unit,” concludes the expert. 

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