‘More than a hookup, less than a relationship’: How ‘situationship’ emerged as a popular dating trend among gen-z

In a similar vein, Bumble’s recent study revealed that looking ahead in 2023, 30 per cent of single Indians surveyed want to date casually without a label or commitment. “73 per cent of gen-z respondents claim that they are not ready for a committed relationship yet,” Samarpita Samaddar, India Communications Director, Bumble told indianexpress.com.

What is a situationship?

Relationship experts explain that a situationship is an undefined, easy-going, and commitment-free relationship – without any kind of labels attached. “People in situationships often find themselves going on dates with someone without having discussed relationship statuses or exclusivity,” Samaddar added.

Agreeing, Dr Chandni Tugnait, Life Coach and Tinder’s Relationship Expert, said that situationships are the ideal compatibility test without the whole commitment pressure, and can help experience intimacy, build communication a,nd foster transparency from the get-go. “You can skip the unnecessary drama with situationships since there are no set expectations to meet. They offer more flexibility, there are no obligations or the constant need to keep checking on each other. You can move on from a situationship more easily since you’re not as emotionally invested,” she shared some benefits.

Why do people opt for it?

For Prasant Meera, their situationship was “liberating” for the couple. Meera shared that they had met their Tinder match in 2022 after they had broken up with their previous partner 7 months prior and had finally opened up to the idea of dating again. “We went to his place, where he asked me if I’d want to meet him before he left. I knew it was coming; he had told me that he was leaving for the US the next week. I kissed him and said, ‘Let this be our last meeting until you return.’ We still chat, and he makes me feel the same that I felt then. I was not in love with him, but something made me go crazy, and I didn’t want to know what could have been,” Meera shared with indianexpress.com.

Social media has played a crucial role in the rise of situationships (Source: Getty Images/Thinkstock)

“Our story may look incomplete in a conventional way,” they acknowledged, saying that nowadays we are smitten by the idea of a ‘made for each other’ kind of love story that is always complete. “But at that moment, our understanding of each other was undefined. There was no pressure to know everything about each other or even make any kind of decision. In fact, there was more connection and conversation and a deep level of emotional intimacy, and even though it was momentarily – it was liberating for us,” Meera said, on why they opted for a situationship over a well-defined relationship.

Highlighting something similar, Dr Tugnait mentioned that situationship offers more room for interpretation and freedom to explore what works for someone in the current stage of their life.

For Ritesh (name changed), however, his situationship is kind of “weird” and driven by their respective pasts. “Due to our previous failed relationships and out of fear of going through the same again, we are settled with this kind of relationship where we know we can reach out to each other anytime we want. That’s enough,” the 25-year-old said.

But why is gen-z more inclined towards it?

Trends suggest that the younger generation, especially the gen-z, is more likely to get into a situationship as opposed to a full-fledged committed relationship. To understand the same, we reached out to Drisha Dey, a consultant psychologist from Kolkata, who said that gen-z is “a generation of choice”. “They are used to choices and in absence of traditional choices, they create them,” she said.

According to the expert, social media has played a crucial role in the rise of situationships. “The presence of so many options, in combination with and as a partial result of social media, has led to a greater tendency to keep looking instead of just choosing someone and giving it a solid go. With options abound, it is also much easier to cherry-pick the components of a relationship one wants to experience instead of dealing with all the aspects of a person – the good and the bad,” Dey said.

She further highlighted the difference between the current and previous generations in terms of developing interpersonal relationships. “No other generation has been this pervasively connected, and no other generation has been this extensively lonely. When one of your core memories of your earliest years on earth is that of a screen in your face, you tend to lose out on one of the crucial parts of formative learning – how to bond and develop connections with others. Put simply, Gen Z has been trained to go after quick, easy dopamine hits without the pain and effort in the pursuit and building something real and sustainable.”

At the same time, the rising interest towards situationships among gen-z is also driven by an increased mental health awareness and common sense understanding, she emphasised.

Can it have negative repercussions?

While situationship may appear easy-going and fuss-free on the outside, it can be an unpleasant experience for certain people if their respective expectations are not properly communicated. “The vagueness, if the status of the relationship is not discussed or mutually agreed upon, can also lead to a person feeling upset and frustrated. On one hand, removing the pressure of putting parameters on what the relationship is and isn’t can be freeing – as long as people involved are okay with leaving things open. However, on the flip side, not knowing where you stand can be detrimental, especially if one of you wants more of a commitment,” Samaddar explained.

Despite clear communication, a situationship might not work out for you which, experts say, is completely “normal” (Source: Getty Images/Thinkstock)

One of the biggest concerns that lie with situationship is that one person is likely to develop feelings at a different pace than the other. “The lack of communication can make it even more difficult to navigate,” she added further.

How to approach a situationship?

Experts suggest approaching it positively and focusing on open and honest communication with your partner about your feelings and concerns. “This way you can clarify the direction of the relationship and improve your understanding of each other’s expectations. This can help to reduce uncertainty and can foster a deeper sense of trust and connection in the relationship. If one is facing any negative emotions during such situations, then the best way to battle this is through self-care and self-compassion,” Dr Tugnait said.

And, despite clear communication, a situationship might not work out for you which, experts say, is completely “normal”. “Whether or not a situationship is working for you depends on several factors, including how you feel about the other person, how well you communicate with each other, and whether you share similar goals and values,” she added.

While it is extremely common to “go through situationships at some point”, here’s what you can do if you do not feel content with it, according to Dey.

*Be honest with yourself and write down why you are avoiding committing to someone.
*If it is because of an easily resolvable, situation-specific issue like fear of threatening a friendship with someone close, that fear is natural. You have to decide which choice you will regret less and then stick to your guns.
*If you believe it’s something deeper, some recurring thought pattern or deep-rooted fear that needs resolution before you can remove yourself from this rut, go talk to a mental health professional.

Emphasising the need for clear communication and having clear boundaries of your connection, Samaddar concluded by saying, “There are endless possibilities of meeting someone who is on the same page as you!”

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