‘I’m not performing anymore’: Samantha Ruth Prabhu on life after divorce from Naga Chaitanya; expert on why people ‘close up’ after separation

Looking back at her own emotional journey, Samantha admitted that the experience of separation deeply affected her ability to depend on others. She said, “When I went through a separation, I closed up completely. I didn’t think it would ever be possible to rely on someone else. Thankfully, I was vulnerable enough to accept that kind of love and friendship. And I’m a much better person because of the relationship I’m in. Because of the person Raj is.”

She added that the internal shift has been noticeable to people around her. “I met an old friend a few days ago, and she sent me a voice note afterwards saying, ‘This is the first time in a long time that I feel like you’re not struggling to breathe.’ I’m not performing anymore.”

While her story is personal, the themes are universal: heartbreak, guardedness, healing, and rediscovering trust.

But after a painful separation, why do many people ‘close up completely’?

Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “People close up after separation because trust no longer feels neutral — it feels unsafe. The emotional system learns that closeness comes with loss, and it adapts accordingly. What follows is withdrawal, emotional distancing, and excessive self-reliance. This is not avoidance; it is self-protection. In Indian settings, separation is rarely private.” 

He adds that family reactions, social opinion and public narratives often deepen shame and self-surveillance. Closing up gives people a sense of control when their emotional world feels unstable. It helps them stay functional. But it also keeps grief unresolved, because emotional pain cannot be processed in isolation.

How does vulnerability contribute to emotional healing after heartbreak?

After heartbreak, Raj says, vulnerability is not about expression. It is about allowing care. He notes, “For Samantha, accepting love and friendship meant letting support reach her without resisting it. Healing happens when the nervous system experiences safety again — being met without judgement or expectation.” 

He explains that vulnerability feels risky “because emotional loss leaves people depleted and cautious.” There is fear of being let down when strength is already low. In our culture, self-sufficiency is often mistaken for resilience. But emotional recovery does not come from endurance alone. It comes from a safe connection.

Moving from survival mode to genuinely feeling secure again

“‘I’m not performing anymore’ usually signals exhaustion,” stresses Raj, adding that after emotional loss, many people survive by being composed, agreeable, and emotionally contained. This performance preserves stability but limits intimacy. Emotional authenticity begins when people stop managing themselves to stay acceptable. 

“Moving out of survival mode takes time and emotional predictability. Security is not achieved through insight or resolve. It develops when relationships remain steady even when a person is uncomfortable, uncertain, or imperfect. At that point, the connection stops feeling like effort and starts feeling like relief,” concludes the expert.