‘Jo usko pasand hai, mujhe…’: Saina Nehwal on her brief separation from Parupalli Kashyap; how evolving identities test long-term relationships

Over time, this led to escalating conflict. “So uske wajah se beech mein I am sure fights joh hote hai hone lage (So because of that I am sure we had fights that are meant to happen in such situations), she said, adding, “Set nai hora hai hum separate ho jate hai (We are not able to fix things so let us separate).”

So, how common is it for couples to grow apart when their professional identities change?

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “It’s common for couples to grow apart when their professional identities shift because people evolve, so do their needs, values, and definitions of happiness. Psychologically, career changes can alter one’s self-concept, priorities, and emotional availability. Growing up, many of us were conditioned to see relationships as permanent, but in reality, they require continuous alignment.” 

She adds that early signs of drifting include mismatched goals, feeling unsupported, reduced communication, and a sense of living parallel lives. 

 

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Temporary stress responses vs. signs of deeper incompatibility

Couples often mistake temporary stress responses for incompatibility. Psychologically, during periods of pressure or routine shifts, people become irritable, withdraw, or cling to familiar preferences—so everyday differences feel bigger. These phases usually ease once stress is reduced. Deeper incompatibility shows up when the pattern stays: repeated conflicts about core values, feeling unseen, or living with constant emotional exhaustion. “Recognising the difference requires noticing whether harmony returns after stress passes or if disconnection becomes the norm,” states Khangarot. 

Tools to help rebuild connections without repeating the same patterns

Khangarot mentions that when couples want to try again, seeking a mental health professional becomes essential. A trained marriage therapist can assess patterns objectively and decide which frameworks fit the couple’s unique dynamics — something the internet or AI cannot personalise with real depth. 

“Approaches like Emotion-Focused Therapy, the Gottman Method, or Imago Dialogue help couples understand unmet needs, rebuild communication, and create safer ways of relating. These tools work only when both partners show a genuine willingness to participate, and a specialist guides the process at the right pace. Professional support ensures old patterns aren’t repeated but replaced with healthier, more sustainable connections,” concludes the expert.