’90s mei jo pyaar tha woh zyada commitment mei believe karta tha’: Ananya Panday’s candid take on modern relationships

(I feel that the kind of love people had in the 90s believed much more in commitment — like an insurance policy: once you commit, it’s supposed to last for life, and I like that. These days, people talk about live-in relationships and say, “We’re sharing everything — expenses, rent.” But even roommates share rent. If you’re in a relationship, share your passwords — and the breakup can happen in a minute. I think that’s why there’s no loyalty anymore. It feels like love has become like popcorn now — a little heat and people start jumping, just like popcorn.)

Ananya’s “popcorn love” analogy hits a nerve, triggering a discussion on the digital nature and fragility of present-day relationships.

To gain a deeper understanding, we spoke with Dr Pavitra Shankar, Associate Consultant – Psychiatry, Aakash Healthcare, who explained that digital life has subtly rewired how people view commitment.

She elaborates:

• Dating apps and social media create an illusion of endless options.
• When choices feel limitless, people hesitate to commit—wondering, “Maybe someone better is out there?”
• A single dull moment or disagreement can trigger doubts, leading individuals to mentally “browse” for alternatives.
• Social media normalises receiving attention from multiple people simultaneously, making it difficult to maintain emotional focus.

The result, Dr Shankar adds, is that commitment still exists, but it comes with conditions, timelines, and very convenient exit routes. “What the 90s offered as permanence, today is treated more like a subscription.”

 

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Why Ananya calls it “popcorn pyaar”—and what psychology says about fast breakups

Psychologically, Dr Shankar says this shift is driven by:

• Instant gratification: From reels to food delivery, everything arrives instantly. The brain gets addicted to quick rewards.
• Low distress tolerance: Many young adults struggle to sit with emotional discomfort.
• Overstimulation: Continuous content, notifications, and validation make real-life relationships feel “slow.”
• Fear of missing out: People fear staying in a relationship that feels imperfect when something “better” might be available.

This leads to quicker exits. She explains, “Instead of working through conflict, many interpret discomfort as incompatibility. Breakups become impulsive—mirroring Ananya’s ‘popcorn’ visual: hot, fast, and scattered.”

Ananya suggests that sharing expenses doesn’t guarantee emotional intimacy. What factors truly determine emotional commitment in modern relationships?

Dr Shankar reinforces this:

• Cohabitation can create closeness, but convenience is not a commitment.
• True emotional intimacy requires:
• Trust
• Emotional safety
• Shared values
• Accountability from both partners
• The ability to have difficult conversations
• Commitment grows in the effort two people invest when things aren’t easy.

So, were the 90s better?

“Ananya’s nostalgia for 90s-style loyalty resonates, but modern relationships aren’t necessarily weaker—they’re just shaped by a different world,” explains Dr Shankar.

She further notes:

• Today’s couples have more freedom, autonomy, and self-awareness.
• But they also face more distractions, choice overload, and emotional burnout.
• Commitment now requires conscious effort, not societal expectation.

Modern love isn’t dying—it’s evolving. But it definitely pops faster than it used to, Dr Shankar emphasises.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.