Journalism of Courage
Priyanka Chopra on letting go of control: ‘It has to go my way’
Priyanka Chopra's remarks about letting go of control have sparked conversations about psychological flexibility and resilience.
Priyanka Chopra on resilience | Source: Express Photo by Tashi Tobgyal
Planning and working hard are often celebrated as the keys to success. Yet many people feel frustrated when life refuses to unfold according to plan. Actor Priyanka Chopra recently reflected on this idea during an appearance on Jay Shetty’s On Purpose podcast, suggesting that constantly trying to control every outcome may be more exhausting than helpful.
She said, “When you are holding onto something really tight, you are exhausting your muscles, so tiring, and that’s people who like to control, or it has to go my way. As soon as I recognised the ease of letting the universe kind of push you in the direction you are meant to go, and within that, of course, work hard every day to achieve your goals through the day, but it is okay if once in a while, it does not turn out to be the way you thought it should be because you might end up with what you need, instead of what you wanted.” Her comments raise an interesting question: is there psychological value in loosening our grip on outcomes without becoming passive or giving up on our ambitions?
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
While her perspective resonates with many people, it also opens up a broader discussion about balancing effort with acceptance. Can constantly trying to control every detail actually increase stress? Is there evidence that being more adaptable leads to better mental health and decision-making? To better understand where healthy planning ends and unhealthy control begins, we asked an expert.
Letting go of control
Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “We often assume that control reduces anxiety. In reality, many people hold on tightly because they hope it will protect them from uncertainty, disappointment or failure. In therapy, I rarely see people chasing control for its own sake. More often, they are searching for reassurance that things will work out. Psychologically, letting go is not about becoming passive or believing that ‘whatever happens, happens.’ It is about recognising the limits of what we can control while remaining fully committed to our choices and actions.”
Healthy acceptance asks, ‘Given the reality of this situation, what is the most helpful step I can take?’ “Passivity stops engaging altogether. Acceptance, on the other hand, creates room for flexibility, problem-solving, and emotional balance. Ironically, we often think holding on will make us stronger, when in reality it is the constant struggle against uncertainty that leaves us emotionally drained,” shares Raj.
Control, uncertainty and anxiety
Quick Quiz
Before reading on, see if you can answer this:
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According to psychologists, what is a healthier way to manage anxiety during uncertain situations?
A. Mentally rehearse every possible outcome until you feel certain.
B. Focus on making sure nothing can go wrong.
C. Accept that uncertainty is part of life and ask yourself how you would cope if things don’t go as planned.
D. Avoid making decisions until you have complete certainty.
Reveal the answer
✅ Correct answer: C
Raj states that anxiety often increases when we struggle to tolerate uncertainty. While planning can be helpful, repeatedly imagining every possible outcome usually fuels overthinking rather than solving the problem. A healthier approach is to shift your focus from trying to control every outcome to building confidence in your ability to cope if things don’t go as planned.
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Building resilience beyond perfectionism
Perfectionism is often misunderstood as simply wanting everything to be perfect. Underneath it is usually a fear that making a mistake will mean we are not good enough. That is why setbacks often feel deeply personal instead of being seen as part of life’s unpredictability.
“Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy help people identify these rigid beliefs, develop self-compassion, and stay connected to their values even when outcomes are disappointing. One question I often encourage people to reflect on is, “Did I act in a way that aligned with the person I want to be?” rather than, “Did everything go exactly as I planned?” Resilience is not built because life becomes easier or more certain. It is built when we discover that we can experience disappointment, adapt to change and still move forward without allowing a single outcome to define our worth,” concludes Raj.
DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.
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