What do Nicola Peltz Beckham and Indian bahus have in common? Mothers-in-law that need a lesson in boundaries

Khelan Thakrar belongs to the Gujarati Lohana Vaishnav community and has been battling a centuries-old, archaic tradition in his family. During childbirth and menstrual cycle, his wife was isolated and abandoned, forced to sit on the floor away from the rest of the family for almost two weeks. On the last day, she was given a bath by the female head of the family, deemed pure and allowed to join the rest of the family.

“80 per cent of families have started giving concessions now, allowing women to sleep on the bed, and just change the bedsheet. But my mom was very strict and used to follow all the rules, just as she was used to since she delivered her children,” the MNC professional told indianexpress.com.

When his first daughter was born, his wife had to follow the same rituals. But when his second daughter came into the picture, Thakrar took a stand.

“My mom and my nani are still upset with me, but I have to take a stand for my daughters. Even my wife is someone’s daughter. She has suffered for too many years now.”

Thakrar’s act of defiance may have caused a rift within the family, but he goes to sleep peacefully, knowing that his two daughters won’t have to go through isolating and deeply painful experiences in the name of tradition.

Brooklyn and Nicola got married in 2022. (Source: Instagram/@brookynpeltzbeckham,

According to Ayesha Sharma, psychotherapist and founder of Dialogue Mental Health, what may have transpired between Nicola, Brooklyn and Victoria reflects an everyday reality for many Indian families, particularly those living under the same roof.

“When family bonds are rooted in loyalty, legacy and identity, a child’s individuation and shift towards building their own family can feel like a profound emotional transition,” she said, adding that for a mother who has long been a central emotional figure in her son’s life, this change can register not just as an adjustment, but as loss.

Sharma explained that the daughter-in-law often enters an already enmeshed dynamic, where emotional separation between parent and child has not fully occurred, leaving little psychological space for a new primary relationship. In such cases, it becomes essential for the son to draw clear and compassionate boundaries with his family so that a new partnership can grow in importance and stability.

“While this boundary-setting can be deeply distressing for the family of origin, it is a necessary step in the son’s psychological maturation, allowing him to form his own identity, partnership and family as an adult,” she told indianexpress.com.

Niharika (name changed upon request) Agrawal and her partner are both liberals, while she comes from a family of staunch right-wing ideology supporters. “I am Hindu, and he is Muslim, but our religious identities have never made us see each other any differently,” she told indianexpress.com.

What followed, unfortunately, does not come as a surprise to us Indians. When her family suspected that she might be dating a Muslim man, she faced severe emotional abuse and harassment. “It was an extremely difficult phase of my life. I was cut off financially despite having multiple health challenges,” shared the freelance communications strategist.

During that difficult time, her partner stood by her like a rock. He supported her emotionally, understood the gravity of what she was going through, and never once made her feel like she was facing it alone. “His presence gave me stability and safety when everything else around me felt uncertain,” she recalled.

Even when her partner’s parents passed comments about the downsides of interfaith relationships, her partner immediately stood up for her and clearly stated that religious differences do not define or weaken their relationship. “It hurts that I have to keep a relationship that is deeply supportive, loving, and grounding hidden from my own family. The way my partner understands my emotions, and the sense of calm and safety my body feels around him, says a lot about the bond we share,” Niharika recalled.

Marriages are complex. You don’t marry just your partner but their whole family. But sometimes, if luck is in your favour, their family marries you first, and a lifetime of love gets written in the stars.

Chetna Kaushik was a radio professional, just back from abroad, looking for the perfect match. When she met Avijit, her now-husband, the list of ethnic and financial differences seemed to keep growing. “2.5 years older girl, Manglik kundli, Brahmin family from Haryana, worked abroad, multicultural parents,” she recounted with a sigh. But her husband was adamant on making things work, standing up to his parents and making them realise that all obstacles were weak in comparison to their feelings for each other.

Sharing her tale of broken stereotypes, Kaushik recalled how all it takes for the modern girl is a little empathy and patience from her elders. “In my case, it was a case of compassionate and independent in-laws who made my life with my husband even more blissful. My mother-in-law has been the most caring and loving presence through the toughest of my personal and professional times, always prioritising my health and wellbeing,” she told indianexpress.com.

The most touching moment for her was when her father-in-law said, “Beta, I just want to say one thing. We have treated our child with a lot of love, don’t make him feel inferior or isolated at any point of time, whether with your family or amongst each other.” For Kaushik, her mother-in-law’s loving demeanour and father-in-law’s absolute frankness won her over.

It became clear that it was just a very worried set of parents wanting the best for their son as well. And with the right partner, prioritising emotional safety over toxic loyalty becomes easy in today’s complex marriage landscape.