Mankeeping shows why women have had enough: ‘Less of a partnership, more of a responsibility I never signed up for’

Eventually, Sachdeva says she realised she was dragging along something already empty. Choosing to leave was not just an escape; it was an act of reclaiming her peace. “Ending that cycle of emotional labour was the first step toward ending the misery and choosing myself again,” she said.

If this scenario sounds familiar, let us help put a name to it—mankeeping, a relationship trend where women are choosing to walk away because they are tired of compensating for men’s lack of social connection, emotional effort, and basic accountability.

Nishita Sisodia believes some men perceive this effort via a feminist lens, arguing, “You wanted equality, now do it.” Sometimes, women suppress their point of view so that their partner does not feel insecure, says the public relations professional.

“If they want the same consideration, it is interpreted as nagging, overthinking, or being too sensitive,” Sisodia said, adding that some women are even abandoned despite being good partners, since their efforts are deemed too much.

According to her, over time, women become less demanding, lose touch with their feminine side, become emotionally distant, and worst of all, turn into ‘the man’ in a relationship. “So now, women buy flowers for themselves, go on dates with themselves, purchase the ring they have been wanting for years, and give themselves the hug they deserve,” she sighed. Miley Cyrus wasn’t too far off, huh?

How does mankeeping impact relationships?

Ayesha Sharma, psychotherapist and founder of Dialogue Mental Health, says that while this is not a new phenomenon, the presence of a word makes what has always existed more visible. Simply put, mankeeping creates an unequal emotional economy. When one partner becomes the emotional manager and the other becomes a passive participant, intimacy slowly erodes.

Over time, one person becomes the one who notices tension, starts hard conversations, remembers the small things, holds the big feelings, and the other becomes a passive participant. This imbalance chips away at intimacy. Resentment builds quietly. Communication becomes heavier. And the relationship can start to feel less like a partnership and more like caretaking.

“The cost is often resentment, about maybe also not receiving the same emotional caretaking in return, especially for female partners in heterosexual relationships,” she told indianexpress.com.

Women are tired of taking on emotional labour for men (Source: Freepik)

Deepti Chandy, therapist and COO of Anna Chandy and Associates, added that the tricky part is that this imbalance does not reveal itself at the beginning of a relationship. Early on, people often feel motivated to nurture, show up and sometimes even overextend themselves. But gradually, they begin to notice that their own emotional needs are not being reciprocated or met.

It also subtly infantilises men. Sharma opined that when women hold more relational responsibility, men lose opportunities to develop emotional skills and accountability.

Who is to blame?

Men are not unwilling to do emotional labour; they are institutionally kept from practising it. “Patriarchy teaches boys early to suppress vulnerability and outsource emotional support to maintain the garb of masculinity, while girls are socialised to attune, soothe, and keep the peace,” said Sharma, adding that by adulthood, women are more fluent in emotional labour because they have been required to be.

Many men are not consciously opting out; they have neither seen healthier relational behaviour modelled nor been encouraged to develop emotional literacy. But unlearning this conditioning, while possible, requires effort, openness, and consistency.

Talking about mankeeping, Shwetabh Verma, zonal manager at Taskar Healthcare Mall, calls it the “most beautiful, poetic trend in which women are prioritising their mental health over the hidden, exhausting emotional labour of holding up others’ social structures”.

According to him, the quiet truth on the male side is that the burden of mankeeping often stems from “humare purane, desi khandan ke sanskar (our traditional desi family culture),” where men are told to be the “strong, silent type” and emotional work is women’s responsibility.

When a partner stops compensating for their social and emotional deficits, Verma says the man is not just losing a girlfriend, he is losing his makeshift solution—his primary emotional and social manager. “This withdrawal forces a painful, overdue realisation of his own isolation and emotional reliance, a necessary step toward true emotional competency that many were never taught. It is anxiety and shame before it becomes self-reflection,” he added.

Patriarchy harms men as much as women, limiting their capacity for vulnerability, conflict resolution, and deeper connection.

Dr Anjalika Atrey, a psychiatrist, sexologist and de-addiction specialist in Mumbai, says that today, women are far more emotionally aware and boundary-conscious, allowing them to recognise this imbalance sooner and reject the normalisation of burnout. “Women often suppress their own needs to keep everything functioning, which leads to chronic emotional exhaustion, anxiety, irritability, emotional numbness, and a loss of desire,” she shared.

Thus, the choice to end relationships does not come as a surprise.

Dr Prarthana Shah, an integrative health coach, calls this trend “not anti-men, but pro-health”. Women opting out of “mankeeping” are simply choosing relational equity over emotional exhaustion. And in many ways, it’s a sign that our collective understanding of healthy love is finally evolving.

“Women today are more self-aware, financially independent, and socially supported than previous generations. They have greater exposure to therapy, wellness culture, and language that helps them detect imbalance early. When a woman realises she’s functioning as her partner’s therapist, planner, mother, and emotional regulator, she experiences what we call relationship fatigue,” she told indianexpress.com.

Modern society does not consider walking away as failure, but as self-preservation. Men may not always deliberately avoid emotional labour. Yet, healthy masculinity demands emotional accountability and support systems that extend beyond a single partner. The truth is that no one person can function as another’s only therapist, friend, and emotional regulator without the relationship eventually collapsing.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.