4 min readNew DelhiApr 19, 2024 05:32 PM IST
First published on: Apr 19, 2024 at 05:32 PM IST
We’ve all been there: staring at a menu for an eternity, agonizing over what movie to watch, or flipping through clothes for the perfect outfit (that inevitably ends up being the first thing you picked). But for some people, indecisiveness isn’t just an occasional annoyance; it’s a constant companion that can significantly impact their lives and relationships. According to Malaika Arora, she has two such people in her life: her ex-husband Arbaaz Khan and their son Arhaan.
In a recent appearance on her son’s new podcast, “Dumb Biryani,” Malaika discussed some of the similarities Arhaan shares with his father and her ex-husband. When asked about these shared traits, Malaika jokingly commented, “Your mannerisms are just like him, it’s shocking how similar you are.”
The conversation then turned to a less flattering similarity. Malaika revealed a shared trait between Arhaan and Arbaaz that she finds particularly bothersome: their indecisiveness. She playfully chided Arhaan about his difficulty making choices, from something as simple as picking a shirt colour to what to eat for breakfast. Arhaan, however, defended himself, claiming to have a “good routine.” Malaika conceded this point but humorously added that that particular trait likely came from her.
According to Mumbai-based relationship psychotherapist and life coach Aarti Chawla, indecisiveness often stems from a deep-seated fear of making the wrong choice.
“This fear can be rooted in childhood experiences, either from being held overly responsible or being harshly criticised for decisions made. These experiences can chip away at a person’s sense of self-efficacy, leading them to avoid taking ownership of their choices altogether,” Chawla explained in an interaction with indianexpress.com.
Indecisiveness manifests in various ways. It can be the analysis paralysis that plagues you before every decision, big or small. Or it can be the constant second-guessing that leaves you feeling perpetually unsure. As Chawla pointed out, these traits can be learned behaviors, often modeled after our parents like Arhaan’s seem to be derived from his father Arbaaz Khan. “Just like other aspects of our personality, indecisiveness can be passed down from generation to generation,” Chawla said.
The effects of indecisiveness can be far-reaching. It can:
Paralyse your productivity: Simple tasks become daunting, and deadlines loom large as you struggle to make even the most basic decisions.
Fuel your anxiety: The constant worry about making the wrong choice can lead to heightened anxiety levels, impacting your overall well-being.
Strain your relationships: Indecisive partners can leave others feeling frustrated and resentful, especially when important choices need to be made.
Lead to missed opportunities: The fear of making the wrong decision can cause you to miss out on exciting opportunities, both personal and professional.
So how do you break free from the shackles of indecisiveness? Here are a few tips:
Set time limits: Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to weigh your options, then force yourself to make a decision and stick with it.
Focus on “good enough” rather than perfect: Striving for perfection is a recipe for indecision. Recognize that most choices won’t have catastrophic consequences, and aim for a good enough solution.
Learn from your experiences: After making a decision, reflect on the outcome. Did it turn out as bad as you feared? Analyze your experiences to build confidence in your decision-making abilities.
Seek professional help: If indecisiveness is severely impacting your life, consider seeking help from a therapist who can equip you with strategies for more effective decision-making.
Remember, indecisiveness doesn’t have to rule your life. By taking control of your decision-making process and embracing a more flexible mindset, you can break free from the cycle of analysis and move forward with confidence.
Malaika Arora revealed a shared trait between Arhaan and Arbaaz that she finds particularly bothersome (Source: Arhaan Khan, Arbaaz Khan/ Instagram) 
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