‘I have no regrets’: Malaika Arora addresses the double standards applied to men and women when it comes to divorce; expert on its impact

Malaika also addressed the stark double standards applied to men and women when they step away from conventional expectations. According to her, women are judged far more harshly for choices that are often normalised for men. “Unfortunately, those questions are never asked. Those eyebrows are never raised. At some level, it’s just understood that we live in a patriarchal society, and this is how things are. There is never any judgment when it comes to certain aspects in the case of men. Unfortunately, women have to bear the brunt of it daily. And if there’s a woman who moves away from the typical, she is no longer the ideal woman. Immediately, things are said, and fingers are pointed. But if you move away from that and make a life, set an example, then you’re doing something right,” she added.

While divorce may no longer be as taboo as it once was, Malaika said the emotional toll of constant questioning, especially from loved ones, can make an already difficult phase even harder to navigate. 

But why are women who prioritise personal happiness often judged more harshly than men?

Dr Sakshi Mandhyan, psychologist and founder at Mandhyan Care, tells indianexpress.com, “I see this as deeply rooted in social conditioning. Women are raised with the expectation of relational responsibility, meaning their value is tied to endurance, adjustment, and emotional labour.” 

Confidence returns when the brain learns, through repeated experience, that disapproval did not lead to danger. (Source: Freepik)

She adds that when a woman chooses divorce, “it violates what sociology calls prescriptive gender norms.” Psychologically, this creates discomfort for families because her choice disrupts a familiar social order. Instead of questioning that order, people redirect their anxiety toward her. This is a projection. 

There is also a biological layer. Dr Mandhyan states, “Social rejection activates the brain’s threat system, particularly the amygdala, in both the observer and the woman being judged. Criticism becomes a way for others to regulate their own discomfort. The harshness is rarely about morality. It is about fear of social change.”

Effects on a woman’s mental health, self-worth, and sense of identity

Repeated scrutiny has a cumulative psychological effect. Dr Mandhyan says, “I see women become hyper-aware of how they speak, explain, and even exist. This keeps the nervous system in a prolonged state of stress. Cortisol remains elevated, which affects sleep, concentration, and emotional regulation. Over time, anxiety and emotional fatigue set in.”

What helps individuals cope with the loss of social approval?

“What helps most is recognising that the distress is not only emotional but biological,” suggests Dr Mandhyan, adding that social rejection activates the same neural pathways as physical pain. “I constantly remind clients that their discomfort is a nervous system response, and not proof of a wrong decision. Understanding this reduces self-blame.”

Confidence returns when the brain learns, through repeated experience, that disapproval did not lead to danger. Gradually, self-respect replaces approval, and emotional regulation stabilises, notes the expert.