‘Mai poori zindagi us jagah kiraye par..,’: When Anupam Kher shared story behind buying a home for his mother in Shimla; psychiatrist weighs in

Kher went on to describe how, while house-hunting, he chose to buy a much larger property than his mother had asked for because it felt meaningful. He also recalled how the seller reduced the price after learning the house was being bought for his mother, and later offered an additional concession upon recognising him. For Kher, the purchase carried emotional weight beyond the transaction.

“That was such an amazing feeling. So the only house that I have is the house in Shimla,” he shared.

In Frame: Anupam Kher, his younger brother Raju Kher, and their mother Dulari Kher (Image: Instagram/Anupam Kher)

Why ownership can feel deeply personal

According to psychology, such a wish is rooted in more than mere material desire. According to Dr Anitha Chandra, Consultant – Psychiatry, Aster CMI Hospital, Bangalore, people who have lived in rented homes for years may carry a lingering sense of impermanence.

“When a person has lived in rented houses all their life, they may carry a deep feeling of temporary belonging. Renting often means adjusting to rules, shifting homes, and never feeling fully settled. Over time, this can create a strong emotional desire for stability and control. Owning even a small house can feel like a sense of security, permanence, and personal achievement… Psychologically, it satisfies the basic human need for safety and belonging. The wish is not only about property, but about dignity, roots, and emotional security,” she explains.

In this light, Kher’s mother’s request for even a symbolic one-bedroom home reflects a longing for identity and rootedness — a transition from being a tenant to feeling like an owner in one’s own story.

When giving becomes an expression of love

Kher further added that when he found a small one-bedroom house just like the one his mother wanted, he learned that an 8-bedroom home was also available for sale. “Toh, I said mai mom ke liye pehli baar ghar le raha hoon, to mai ek bedroom ka kyu loon.” (So I said, if I’m buying a house for my mother for the first time, why should I buy just a one-bedroom home?) He went on to purchase the bigger one.

Kher’s gesture and emotion resonate with many adult children who want to honour their parents’ sacrifices.

Dr Chandra explains that when someone buys more than what their parents asked for, it often shows deep love, gratitude, and emotional attachment. “The person may feel thankful for the sacrifices their parents made and wants to give back in a bigger way… It can also be a way to express emotions that are hard to put into words. Overall, it shows affection and emotional closeness.”

Seen through this lens, Kher’s Shimla home is much more than real estate. It represents gratitude, belonging, and the emotional fulfilment of a promise — a reminder that for many families, a house is not just a structure, but a symbol of dignity, care, and connection.

 

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