‘Love is like reparenting your inner child’: Amid dating rumours with Dhanush, Mrunal Thakur on why real love changes you; therapist explains

When the conversation turned to whether women in love tend to give more, Mrunal pushed back against the idea. “Not necessarily. I disagree. Anyone who is in love is more giving. But what is important in love is to accept it also. Sometimes, it is very difficult to receive love and acknowledge love. The definition of love has been changing,” she said. Expanding on this, she added, “The only constant thing is love. It’s how you receive, there’s a lover, there’s a beloved. When anyone is in love, they are the givers. It doesn’t matter – woman, man, no. Jab pyaar hota hai (when there’s love), you just do things for that person. You just surrender!” These reflections raise important questions about emotional balance, boundaries, and what healthy love looks like in everyday relationships.

How can romantic relationships influence emotional healing or unresolved childhood patterns?

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “Inner child work refers to recognising and healing emotional wounds formed in childhood due to unmet needs such as safety, validation, affection, or consistency. These early experiences don’t disappear with age; they quietly shape adult beliefs, emotional reactions, and relationship patterns.”

When unresolved, Khangarot states, these wounds often show up in romantic relationships as fear of abandonment, excessive people-pleasing, difficulty trusting, emotional shutdowns, or intense reactions to small triggers. “Secure adult relationships can support emotional healing — not by ‘fixing’ each other, but by offering consistency, emotional safety, and repair after conflict.”

Why do many people struggle to accept love, even when they desire it?

Khangarot explains, “Many individuals grow up internalising the belief that love must be earned, performed for, or sacrificed for—rather than received freely. When self-esteem is fragile or the self-concept is built around inadequacy or hyper-independence, love can feel unfamiliar, undeserved, or even unsafe.”

Mrunal Thakur is rumoured to be dating Dhanush (Source: Express photo)

People who struggle to accept love often minimise affection, doubt their partner’s intentions, or feel uncomfortable with care and vulnerability. Khangarot states that compliments may be dismissed, emotional closeness may trigger guilt or anxiety, and consistency may feel suspicious rather than reassuring. “This can create imbalanced relationship dynamics where one partner overgives while the other keeps emotional distance, reinforcing feelings of rejection or exhaustion on both sides.”

How can individuals ensure that surrendering in love doesn’t lead to loss of self or unhealthy emotional dependence?

Surrendering in love becomes unhealthy when it happens without psychological boundaries or awareness of one’s own needs. Psychological boundaries allow individuals to stay emotionally connected without losing their sense of self, values, or autonomy.

Khangarot notes, “Unhealthy emotional dependence usually develops when a person expects a partner to meet needs that were previously unmet — such as validation, security, or self-worth. When these needs are unconsciously outsourced to the relationship, love can shift into over-adjustment, fear of conflict, or self-silencing to preserve closeness.”

Healthy surrender involves knowing which needs can be shared and supported within a relationship, and which ones require self-regulation, self-soothing, and personal growth.