Lies are commonplace; people engage in and entertain harmless lies from time to time. But when you are in a relationship with someone — not necessarily bound in matrimony — you have to respect the sanctity of it. There should, ideally, not be a place for lies in a healthy relationship, because lies never stay in isolation, they attach themselves to other lies, and keep piling up until it becomes enormously difficult to keep up.
So, if you have lied about something lately, and want to come clean to your significant other, here are some things to keep in mind; read on.
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Know your partner
You ought to know the person you are with. You know your partner is highly intelligent, empathetic and sensible. So, instead of beating around the bush, give them the benefit of doubt and blurt it out. Remember, there is a chance that your partner will try to understand where you are coming from. They may want to sit down and have a healthy discussion over it. So do not delay any more.
Keep calm and do not react
After you have shared your story, stay composed even when your partner reacts. Remember, now it is no longer about you and your lie, but about them processing the truth. So, give them some space and allow them to find a proper outlet. If it leads to a fight, and it might, your extreme reactions can worsen the situation.
Don’t be a victim
The last thing your partner may want, is to see you as a victim. In fact it may not convince them and may cause them more anger and hurt. Some people seek an easy way out, but you can be different. Take responsibility for your actions, promise to make amends and work on those promises.
And no blame-game either
Blaming someone else for something that you chose or chose-not to do, is wrong. As mentioned before, you must take enough responsibility for the choices you make. So if you chose to keep the truth away from them and lie instead, blaming someone else will only aggravate the suffering.
Give it time
Time heals everything, so wait it out. With time, you will have the answers. Do not behave in a cloying manner and seek answers right away; this may push your partner away. Remember the good times you shared in the relationship, how important it is for both of you, and promise them you will right the wrongs. And mean it.
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