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Let’s Talk: The four biggest sex myths about men busted

Some of the sex myths can be really harmful for the human psyche, especially in a country like India with little or no sex ed.

Written by TV Balaji | New Delhi |
Updated: April 8, 2016 5:09:03 pm
A few sex myths can permanently damage the human psyche. (Photo: Thinkstock) A few sex myths can permanently damage the human psyche. (Photo: Thinkstock)

We LOVE myths. Be it Greek, Indian, Norse, there’s something about them that make you want to believe that they are true or people want you to believe they are true. When I was a kid I thought Unicorns were real and had made it my life goal to get one when I grow up. This, only after I learnt how to ride a dragon. Growing up, I picked a great many of them from my mom, grandma, books and other kids. These days we have social media, the share button replacing our granny’s favorite past time.

As a teenager the stories about lovely mystical creatures were replaced by sex myths. And while there is no problem thinking about Unicorns as a five year old, some of the sex myths can be really harmful for the human psyche, especially in a country with little or no sex ed. After getting constant questions about certain sex myths at my current stint in the sexual wellness industry, I feel it is time to bust them:

Men think about sex every 7 seconds
Now it’s 3 hours since I got up today and I can assure you that I haven’t thought about sex even once. Ok, maybe once. But, that’s it. A study conducted by the Kinsey Institute on this topic prove this statistic as a myth. According to the stats from the study, 54% of men think about sex every day or several times a day, 43% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 4% less than once a month. Although no one can accurately say how many times the thought of sex flashes through a guy’s head, it’s safe to say that men don’t have sex on their minds all the time and it’s definitely not every 7 seconds.

Men cheat more than women
Though a lot of high profile infidelity scandals involved cheating men, a study done by researches done at Indiana University states that infidelity is about the same rate when it comes to both the genders though the reasons are different. Doesn’t make cheating OK but the issue isn’t one dimensional. If you feel there’s a problem, best to talk it over. Communication is the key not just for intimacy but also to have a healthy and strong relationship.

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Men need to have BIG penises to pleasure women
In my current job, one of the top most asked questions is: “Can I satisfy my partner if I have a small penis? Do you sell anything for penis enlargement?” This myth is also the source of many internet scams promising a “porn star like penis” with a pill. Size of the penis has nothing to do with sexual pleasure. Well known sexologist Dr Prakash Kothari says size doesn’t matter. “On an average, the woman’s vagina is between four and six inches. And only the external third of the vagina is sensitive. The inner two thirds is virtually insensitive. By that logic anything starting from a two inch penis should be able to arouse a woman. So if you are a man with a small penis, I would advise you to focus on the external genitalia, because that is what matters,” says Dr Kothari. I would take this advice rather than falling for the penis enlargement scams.

Men prefer sex over relationships
According to Wake Forest University psychology professor Andrew Smiler, physical and emotional intimacy are more important to men than people think. Professor Smiler says, “The Casanova myth is so deeply ingrained that people are convinced that boys who claim to want relationships rather than casual sex are either incredibly rare or full of crap.” Now there are not just a few good men, are there?

Next on Let’s Talk we will bust some women sex myths. Stay Tuned!

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Balaji TV is co-founder of www.lovetreats.in. Let's Talk is a fortnightly column focusing on sexual wellness and couple intimacy.

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First published on: 07-04-2016 at 08:45:08 pm

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