This is an archive article published on February 10, 2025

‘Thoda initial hitch toh tha’: Kishwer Merchant Rai on being a Muslim woman married into a Hindu family and her 8-year age gap with Suyyash Rai

"It was only slightly difficult for me because I'm 8 years older than him toh woh with his mother thoda sa tha," Kishwer Merchant Rai added

Kishwer Merchant Rai on her interfaith marriage with Suyyash Rai (Source: Instagram/Kishwer M Rai)

3 min readNew DelhiFeb 10, 2025 09:30 AM IST First published on: Feb 10, 2025 at 09:30 AM IST

Navigating age and religious differences in relationships can come with societal and familial challenges. While interfaith marriages are becoming more common, they often require open conversations, understanding, and compromise.

Kishwer Merchant Rai, who is eight years older than her husband Suyyash Rai, shared that while religion wasn’t a major concern, the age gap initially posed some challenges with his family. Appearing on Debina Bonnerjee’s podcast, the actor said, “In this case, I didn’t have so much of a problem because Suyyash’s sister is also married to a Muslim man. It was only slightly difficult for me because I’m 8 years older than him toh woh with his mother thoda sa tha. But I think Suyyash really convinced the parents that this is it. So, you know, I mean, they just had to say yes, and of course, they’re very happy about it. But thoda sa initial hitch toh tha about this.”

Some common challenges interfaith couples face, and how can they navigate them while maintaining mutual respect

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “While love is a powerful force, societal and familial expectations often create roadblocks. Interfaith couples often face resistance to cultural clashes, differing traditions and external judgement. The key to overcoming these lies in open dialogue and unwavering mutual respect.”

Here’s how couples can navigate these challenges with mutual respect and emotional strength, according to her:

Align on core values: Religion is important, but so are shared morals, ethics and life goals. Prioritise those over rituals.

Set clear boundaries: Some family members may impose their beliefs. Be firm and respectful about what is acceptable.

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Build a shared space: Celebrate differences rather than erasing them. Create new traditions that blend both worlds.

Present a united front: Societal pressures are easier to bear when both partners support each other fully.

How can couples address concerns from family members regarding age gaps in relationships?

Age-gap relationships, especially when the woman is older, often face skepticism rooted in concerns about compatibility, longevity, and societal judgement, notes Khangarot. She adds that navigating this “requires patience and understanding.” Acknowledge concerns rather than dismissing them — sometimes, resistance is just love wrapped in worry. Let actions speak louder than words; a respectful, loving relationship will ease doubts over time.

Khangarot adds, “Educate, don’t argue — address misconceptions about maturity and life stages with facts and patience. Set healthy boundaries, recognising that not every concern needs validation, as some biases belong to those who hold them. Ultimately, age is just a number, but emotional compatibility is everything. While families may need time to adjust, a genuine connection speaks for itself.”