‘She was saying I have made a mistake’: Journalist recalls Katrina Kaif’s heartbreak after Ranbir Kapoor split; psychologist explains why we make big sacrifices in love

According to Pooja, Katrina had been “madly in love” and had turned down several film opportunities during the relationship, believing she was preparing for marriage and a possible shift away from work. 

“She must have thought that after marrying Ranbir, she would have become a Kapoor family member, and she must have thought that they didn’t allow their daughters-in-law to work in movies, at least that’s how it was back then; now things have changed. She let go of a lot of films. She was very disappointed,” Pooja shared.

Katrina, however, went on to find her soulmate in actor Vicky Kaushal, whom she married in 2021. 

But why do people sometimes make significant personal or professional sacrifices in relationships?

Sonal Khangarot, a licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, tells indianexpress.com, “When we’re emotionally invested, the brain prioritises the relationship over individual goals, creating a feeling that compromise is necessary to protect the bond. Many also sacrifice due to attachment patterns, fear of abandonment, or internalised beliefs that love requires self-giving. In the moment, these choices feel meaningful, especially when tied to dreams of a shared future.”

She adds that the end of the relationship also “collapses the identity built around those sacrifices,” creating a painful sense of wasted time, missed opportunities, and self-betrayal. The emotional cost becomes clearer only in hindsight, making the loss feel heavier and the regret more acute.

What drives the tendency to internalise blame after a breakup?

After a breakup, Khangarot states that many people instinctively internalise blame because “the mind searches for clarity, control, and meaning during emotional chaos.”

Psychologically, self-blame can feel easier than accepting the unpredictability of relationships — it creates the illusion that ‘if it was my fault, I can prevent this pain in the future.’ Individuals with high achievement orientation, people-pleasing tendencies, or anxious attachment are especially prone to believing they ‘should have done better,’ even when the breakup wasn’t caused by their actions. 

Rebuilding confidence, identity, and direction after a breakup 

“The first step is emotional grounding — acknowledging the pain without letting it define you. Returning to simple routines, engaging in work you paused, and reconnecting with hobbies helps rebuild a sense of normalcy. Reminding yourself of past achievements and strengths counters the narrative of failure. Setting small, achievable goals restores direction, while supportive conversations help you see yourself more clearly. Over time, consistent action rebuilds self-trust and identity,” concludes Khangarot.