‘Depends on who won…’: Kajol on Ajay Devgn being a ‘50:50’ husband, says they don’t ‘maintain records’ of fights; why letting go matters more than you think

Earlier, in a chat with Mashable India, Kajol also spoke about how their differing temperaments have contributed to building a lasting bond. According to her, a mix of humour and strategy keeps things afloat. “Partial deafness and selective amnesia” are, in her opinion, the secret ingredients of a successful marriage. Her take might sound cheeky, but it hints at the importance of communication, compatibility, and conflict resolution in long-term partnerships.

 

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So, how do partners who approach life differently still manage to create deep, enduring relationships?

“Couples with differing traits often develop strong, enduring relationships through a concept known as complementarity. When partners balance each other’s traits — for instance, one being more spontaneous and the other more structured — they can create a dynamic that fosters growth and stability. Successful relationships in such cases often rely on emotional intelligence, particularly empathy, patience, and self-awareness,” says psychologist Rasshi Gurnani in conversation with indianexpress.com. 

What’s the psychological impact of keeping score in arguments, and why might it help to let go of who ‘won’ the last fight?

According to Gurnani, keeping score in arguments — consciously or not — can lead to resentment accumulation and cognitive distortion known as “mental filtering”, where one focuses only on their partner’s faults. This scorekeeping activates a competitive mindset within the relationship, eroding emotional safety and increasing the likelihood of chronic dissatisfaction.

Letting go of who ‘won’ the last fight is crucial because it promotes collaborative problem-solving and emotional attunement. “Psychologically, when couples choose resolution over validation, they foster relationship resilience. By not maintaining records, partners allow space for compassion and growth, shifting focus from blame to understanding, which is the foundation of long-lasting emotional intimacy,” concludes the expert.