4 min readNew DelhiDec 9, 2025 11:29 AM IST
First published on: Dec 9, 2025 at 11:29 AM IST
In many households, smoking is not just an individual habit; it becomes a family issue that quietly shapes daily life, emotions, and relationships. In a candid interview, Janhvi Kapoor spoke about how deeply her father’s smoking affected life at home and how she and her sister tried to intervene in their own ways.
She shared, “Papa was smoking a lot. I think it was around the time of No Entry and just after…he wanted something like that. Every morning me and Khushi would find new ways to destroy his cigarette packets.” She described their attempts to sabotage the habit, saying, “Either we’d go, and we’d cut up his cigarettes, or I’d open it, and I’d put toothpaste on it. Different things we’d do every day.”
Despite these efforts, nothing changed, and tensions grew within the family. Janhvi explained, “Nothing worked, and mom would also keep fighting with him.” She also shared that her mother tried to influence change with a personal sacrifice: “She became a vegetarian. She was like I won’t start eating non-veg till you stop smoking.”
However, the situation conflicted with medical advice: “And the doctors were like, ‘No, you’re too weak, you need to eat more.’” According to Janhvi, the emotional strain was visible, adding, “And she’s like ‘no,’ and papa would beg her.” Years later, change came from a different place and after Sridevi’s tragic demise. As Janhvi recalled during the chat with Pinkvilla, “And then finally 4-5 years ago, he was just like she wanted me to stop. I couldn’t do it then, I’ll do it now, and he just stopped.”
So, when children try to control a parent, what does this behaviour reveal about how children process addiction within the family?
Psychologist Rasshi Gurnani tells indianexpress.com, “Children often respond to addiction with protective behaviour because they sense the emotional or physical risk associated with the habit, even if they cannot fully understand the nature of addiction. Their actions become symbolic efforts to ‘fix’ the problem, driven by anxiety and the belief that stopping the behaviour will restore harmony at home.”
She adds that this also indicates early parentification, where the child takes on responsibilities far beyond their developmental capacity, often leading to internalised guilt, hypervigilance, or a lifelong tendency to manage others’ emotions.
Impact of repeated conflicts over smoking or other addictions
Gurnani mentions that ongoing arguments about addiction “typically erode marital communication and create a cycle of criticism, defensiveness, and resentment.” Over time, she says the home environment becomes unpredictable, affecting children’s emotional safety.
Research consistently shows that chronic conflict is more damaging to a child’s psychological well-being than the addiction itself, because it disrupts the sense of security and models dysfunctional relational patterns.
Emotional bargaining
Emotional bargaining, Gurnani stresses, such as promising to change one’s own behaviour until the other person quits smoking, is a common but ineffective strategy. “While it stems from desperation and care, it inadvertently reinforces the addiction by creating a power dynamic where the addicted individual becomes the emotional centre of the family.”
Behaviourally, she informs, bargaining rarely leads to sustained change because addiction is not resolved through guilt or emotional pressure; it requires internal motivation and structured support. Psychologically, such tactics can also create unintended harm: the non-addicted partner may feel chronically disappointed, while the addicted partner may experience shame or increased resistance. “This dynamic can deepen emotional distance within the relationship and intensify family stress,” explains Gurnani.
Janhvi Kapoor opens up about trying to stop her father’s smoking (Source: Express Archives) 
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