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Thursday, April 09, 2020

Is your partner ‘stashing’ you in the relationship? Find out

Remember, it is not your job to fix someone who does not want to be fixed.

By: Lifestyle Desk | New Delhi | Published: February 9, 2020 3:47:01 pm
dating, dating terms, dating trends, new dating trends, stashing, what is stashing, dating term stashing, what does stashing mean in a relationship, feelings, love, indian express, indian express news ‘Stashing’ happens when one person in a relationship makes the conscious decision of keeping their partner from their inner circle. (Source: Getty/Thinkstock)

If you have been with your partner for some time now, and they have still kept their inner circle elusive and hidden from you, chances are they are ‘stashing’ you and you need to find out why they are doing it.

A fairly new dating term, ‘stashing’ happens when one person in a relationship makes the conscious decision of keeping their partner from their inner circle. Which means, they do not introduce them to their friends, let alone family. In fact, they also get uncomfortable when their partner suggests they make their relationship known on social media. Essentially, in such a relationship, there is a ‘stasher’ and a ‘stashee’, and while stashing is common, it is also hurtful and humiliating.

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Relationship experts believe there is no one particular reason as to why a person would behave this way. It could be because they are embarrassed by their families, or have issues with family members. Or it could be because they are not serious about the relationship they share with you, and do not see a future here. Alternatively, a person may also become a stasher when they are carrying on simultaneously with another relationship. None of the aforementioned reasons justifies them treating you this way.

dating, dating terms, dating trends, new dating trends, stashing, what is stashing, dating term stashing, what does stashing mean in a relationship, feelings, love, indian express, indian express news If your partner refuses to have a healthy conversation about it, remember it is time to walk away with dignity. (Source: Getty/Thinkstock)

Experts say one of the key things you can do when you are being stashed, is to open a channel of communication. By asking them why you are not a part of their inner circle, or why you have not met the people who are important to them. You may bring yourself closer to them and their vulnerabilities. But, remember, you may also risk exposing a raw nerve, which might not go down well with them.

So, if this person responds with a backlash and says things which are downright insulting and hurtful, reevaluate your relationship. Understand that in a healthy relationship, your partner would give you a reason for their actions, and tell you why you are not ‘there’ yet. They will have a conversation with you, if you are important to them. If not, it is time you walk away with dignity. Remember, it is not your job to fix someone who does not want to be fixed.

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