‘I was married to a celebrity but…’: Sutapa Sikdar reflects on bond with late Irrfan Khan, not being in ‘awe of him’

Staying grounded despite fame

Sikdar recalled how fame didn’t shift their equation: “He really became huge, he evolved a lot. He came from a very small town family, and he didn’t know half the things I knew, and I didn’t know half the things he knew, so I think it was a very equal relationship.”

Dr Chandra sees this as a hallmark of emotional intelligence. “This statement reflects a relationship based on mutual respect, curiosity, and equality. Recognising each other’s knowledge and experiences without judgment fosters collaboration rather than competition. Awareness that neither knows everything about the other promotes humility, openness, and continuous learning, which strengthens trust and communication.”

Sutapa Sikdar said she used to help Irrfan Khan rehearese his lines (Image: Facebook/Sutapa Sikdar)

Balancing different backgrounds

Coming from contrasting worlds — one from a small town, the other from a metropolitan environment—could have created friction in many cases — but not for  them, as Sutapa proudly recalled,  “We were equals from the start.”

Dr Chandra notes, “When partners come from different backgrounds, maintaining equality is key. Treating each other as equals encourages respect, open communication, compromise, and appreciation of each other’s experiences. This reduces resentment, builds emotional safety, and allows both partners to grow together.”

The secret to a lasting bond

Sutapa’s reflections highlight a partnership built on curiosity, trust, and equality. Dr Chandra concludes, “Equality in a relationship is measured not by fame or knowledge but by mutual respect, shared growth, and emotional safety. Couples who honor this foundation can navigate fame, differences, and life pressures without letting them disrupt the bond.”

Through her words, Sutapa Sikdar offers a lesson for all couples: even in the glare of public life, a lasting relationship thrives on friendship, respect, and emotional balance, not status or celebrity.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to.