Hina Khan on marriage during cancer treatment: ‘There have been tough times and rough patches’

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. Always consult your health practitioner before starting any routine.

Khan explained, “We got married because we dated for the longest time, 13-14 years, and we wouldn’t have gotten married even now. It was all decided months in advance; it was under the Special Marriages Act. So we had to plan everything well in advance. We got married because we didn’t know about tomorrow. We had even decided the date well in advance.”

Speaking about the difficult period in their relationship, Khan described the challenges they faced during her cancer battle as well as her partner’s mother’s health crisis. She said, “What kept our relationship going, with whatever we have faced, there have been tough times and rough patches, not in terms of compatibility. We are not in that space where we fight; we have been in real-life crises. Healthwise, whatever we have been through, especially in my case and his mother’s case, there have been times when I asked him to marry someone else. I told him many things won’t be the way they were. That’s where your love is tested; I was not testing him. Had he chosen that, I would have been happy for him; I love him so much that his happiness is more important than being with him.”

She further said, “He chose to be with me in thick and thin; it was a very rough patch, we had to take tough decisions, and we did. Anyone who has been there with me at that time knows that I was able to do it only because of him. He made it look like a cakewalk.”

 

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In a video from their wedding, Khan also reflected on what it meant to be accepted during a period of profound uncertainty. She said, “I just want to say a few words. It’s not a vow. It’s a feeling, and it’s an emotion. Being loved is beautiful, but to embrace a woman, with all the uncertainties in my life. I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. With all my flaws, accepting a woman. It’s the biggest blessing in the world. Thank you so much.”

Her experience raises broader questions about what happens to romantic relationships when one partner is facing a serious illness. How can couples navigate uncertainty without one person feeling like a burden, and what does meaningful support look like when both partners are struggling emotionally?

How serious illness can affect a relationship

Gurleen Baruah, Existential Psychotherapist at That Culture Thing, tells indianexpress.com, “A serious illness doesn’t just affect the body; it also changes the relationship. Couples often grieve not only the illness itself but also the loss of certainty, future plans, and the life they had imagined together. Questions like ‘Why us?’, ‘What happens now?’ and ‘Will our future look different?’ naturally arise.”

She adds that some people begin to see themselves as a burden or worry that their partner deserves a different life. From an existential perspective, these fears often say more about how harshly we are judging ourselves than about what our partner actually feels. Every couple navigates this differently, but honest conversations and allowing space for uncertainty become especially important.

Why might someone ask their partner to leave?

“A major illness can shake a person’s sense of identity,” shared Baruah, adding that someone who once saw themselves as independent may suddenly feel vulnerable, dependent, or afraid of becoming a burden. Asking a partner to leave is often less about wanting the relationship to end and more about protecting the person they love from a future they fear.

 

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“It can also reflect the very human fear that love may change when circumstances change. Rather than arguing or dismissing these feelings, a partner can respond by listening, acknowledging the fear, and gently reassuring them through consistent presence rather than grand promises,” mentions the expert.

What often helps most is open communication and making space for difficult emotions instead of trying to “fix” them. “Individual or couple therapy can provide a safe place to process what both partners are going through together. At the same time, it’s equally important to protect moments of normalcy — sharing a meal, watching a favourite show, expressing gratitude, or simply sitting together without talking about the illness. Partners also need to care for their own wellbeing, because supporting someone else becomes difficult when you’re emotionally exhausted yourself,” concludes Baruah.

DISCLAIMER: This article is based on information from the public domain and/or the experts we spoke to. Always consult your health practitioner before starting any routine.