‘When I think about where I am now…’: After grief and heartbreak, Malaika Arora embraces the power of patience and gratitude with a new tattoo; expert on its significance

Explaining her choice further, Malaika shared, “The words ‘patience’ (sabr) and ‘gratitude’ (shukr) are very comforting. These words resonate with me when I think about where I am now, compared to where I was just a year ago.” She described tattoos as markers of transformation, a way of memorialising emotional milestones — just like the one she got eight years ago after her divorce from Arbaaz Khan, which showed three birds in flight. “That tattoo shows three birds in flight, marking a new phase in my life,” she recalled. 

While she is not currently focused on her love life, Malaika admitted that she is in a better, calmer, and happier space now.

Malaika shared, “The words ‘patience’ (sabr) and ‘gratitude’ (shukr) are very comforting. (Source: Instagram/Malaika Arora)

How do values like patience and gratitude psychologically support emotional recovery after loss or heartbreak?

Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, tells indianexpress.com, “Patience and gratitude aren’t just moral values — they’re emotional survival tools, especially in the Indian context where spiritual ideas often guide personal healing.”

He adds, “We humans crave certainty, security and control, but going through grief can be quite the opposite and hence very discomforting. Psychologically, patience helps us hold space for pain without acting out. Gratitude, meanwhile, shifts focus from what’s broken to what still holds meaning, the silver linings. Needless to say, even with patience and gratitude the emotional balance cannot be restored in a day but they rather act as a constant form of support and self care.”

Psychological significance of getting tattoos after major life transitions 

Tattoos after breakups aren’t just aesthetic — they’re symbolic acts of reclaiming identity. Arora states, “When life feels unpredictable or painful, getting a tattoo gives a sense of control. For someone like Malaika, it’s a way to mark the end of one chapter and the start of another.”

He continues, “A tattoo can become that story in physical form, to help people make sense of their lives. Tattoos can also be symbols of values that one wants to uphold in their lives. The mark of a new journey.”

 What does it take to truly reach emotional readiness after a breakup?

“Grief and healing do not follow a linear path,” notes Arora, adding that they come and go, one like a wave kissing the ocean and the next day like a high tide, wrecking havoc. “Readiness isn’t about distracting yourself or jumping into the next thing. It’s about doing the inner work — grieving, reflecting, understanding what changed, and learning how to be okay alone.”

This process unfolds in its own time. Some people feel ready in months, others take years. In Indian society, where moving on quickly is often seen as strength, it’s important to remember that real strength lies in respecting your own pace. 

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