‘Kitni moti, maar degi isko’: Bharti Singh on being body shamed after marriage to Haarsh Limbachiyaa

She shared how the trolling crossed into hurtful assumptions about who she could or couldn’t marry: “Lekin log na humare na, bahut woh bann jaate hain. ‘Andhe log shaadi kar rahe hain. Kitni moti, maar degi isko. Yeh kitna patla hai. Kuch log aise hai jinhone mujhe ehsaas dilaya tha ki yes tu moti hai, tu bhadhi hai. Moti ladki ke saath ek mote ladke ki, bhadhe ladke ki hi shaadi ho sakti hai. Ek aise matlab patle ladke se shaadi nahi ho sakti. Usko bhi bola ki tu chashma laga hai, tera chashma toot jayega iske saath. Bahut saari cheezein hum padhte the (But you know, people can be like that… ‘Blind people are getting married. She’s so fat, she’ll kill him. He’s so thin.’ Some people made me feel like, yes, you’re fat, you’re ugly. A fat girl can only marry a fat boy, an ugly boy. She can’t marry a slim boy. They even told him, ‘You wear glasses, your glasses will break if you’re with her.’ We used to read so many such things).” 

Bharti added that while she and Haarsh often laughed off the comments — “Mein hasti thi, woh bhi hasta tha (Both of us laughed it off)” — they still felt the sting privately. Alongside the criticism, there were also those who supported and celebrated their love.

So, how do body-shaming comments about couples impact relationship dynamics?

Existential analyst Gurleen Baruah tells indianexpress.com, “It really depends on the people involved and the strength of their bond. As a society, we still hold on to narrow beauty ideals, so anything that doesn’t fit that mold attracts judgment. If the couple is secure in themselves and in each other, public comments may not shake them much—but they’re still human.”

Why do societal stereotypes around appearance and ‘matching’ body types in couples persist?

Baruah notes that these stereotypes persist “because culture, media, and social conditioning have reinforced them for decades.” She adds, “Social psychology’s matching hypothesis explains part of it — it’s the idea that people tend to pair with others who are equal or similar in social desirability, which can mean physical attractiveness, but also factors like wealth, status, education, or influence.” 

That’s why you often see stereotypes like “beautiful woman with wealthy man” or “similar-looking couples.” But relationships in real life are far more complex. 

 

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Coping strategies couples can use to protect their self-esteem and bond 

“It can help to openly acknowledge hurtful comments rather than pretend they don’t exist, but also to keep them in perspective — most come from strangers with no stake in your happiness. Shared humour, private rituals, and regular affirmations are small but powerful ways to protect self-esteem. At the end of the day, the relationship is between two people, not between them and an audience,” states Baruah.