‘Date them till you hate them’: This toxic TikTok dating trend is making a comeback

As the explanation goes, it involves emotionally checking out while letting resentment accumulate so that by the time the relationship ends, the person already feels nothing.

Neil describes the process: “You’re going to watch them disrespect you… until you no longer want to associate with them anymore.” While some may recognise shades of this pattern in their own lives, can internalising such behaviour have long-term consequences, not just for the relationship, but for one’s emotional wellbeing and future attachment patterns?

Psychological factors that make avoidance-based breakup strategies feel easier than addressing problems directly

Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, tells indianexpress.com, “Avoidance usually comes when something painful is hidden underneath, which we don’t want to see, feel or come to terms with. Confronting a partner can also help prevent emotions such as fear of being judged, hurting a loved one, or facing potential abandonment.”

He continues, “So many of us live with behaviours, which we know deep down are not right or healthy, but we choose to continue anyway.”

Impact on a person’s emotional well-being, communication patterns, and future relationships

Although such relationships might be able to avoid confrontation successfully, Arora stresses that they can “wear the people down, physically and emotionally.” Instead of processing feelings, one can slip into shutting themselves down and be more detached not just from the partner, but from themselves.

On a longer time scale, he states that this communication style and pattern of not drawing boundaries when needed can become the default in the person’s interactions outside romantic relationships, too, and hamper co-existence with anybody.

Healthier strategies to navigate difficult breakups

“Acknowledgement is a great start,” notes Arora, adding that sometimes we feel so much that, as a consequence, we end up feeling nothing. Taking it slow, starting with expressing small needs and then gradually thinking about bigger decisions, like breaking up, can help someone ease into the process.

People who feel unable to leave often benefit from planning the breakup instead of avoiding it. “Talking to friends or a therapist can reduce fear and build confidence in the decision. Preparing what to say, choosing a calm setting, and outlining the next steps can make the process feel more contained. And of course, therapy can help regulate emotions and strengthen interpersonal skills,” concludes the expert.