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Thursday, October 01, 2020

Five common millennial marriage issues and how to resolve them

Marital issues are found in every happily ever after relationship. The main point is whether you want to resolve it.

New Delhi | Updated: September 12, 2020 8:49:04 pm
millennial marriage issues, marriage issues, indianexpress.com, indianexpress, marriage mistake, relationship mistakesEnsure you talk out your issues without including someone else. (Source: Getty Images/Thinkstock)

Written by Leena Paranjpe

Can I diffuse my partner’s anger in 24 hours? Are fights normal in marriage? How should I deal with parental interference in a joint family? Can I save my marriage even when my partner is unwilling to do the same?

Can you resonate with these questions? This happens mostly when you invest a lot in your wedding planning but not in marriage planning. Due to the lack of preparedness, millennial couples face these situations the most, and a major part contributing to this is because of these five common millennial marital issues faced globally. As per my experience, 95 per cent of the people do nothing, struggle with the confusions, and remain in a complaint zone.

Have you ever thought of clearing your confusion, resolving your current marital issues, and taking smarter action to get results, in only ten days?

If you want to take charge of your marriage, know these five common millennial marriage issues that are faced by millennial couples globally, and also the six basic reasons as to why these issues are created.

Common millennial marriage issues

Lack of understanding

Understanding is a skill that helps you in accepting the imperfections of your partner. ‘I am done with you!’ means ‘I love you but I’m unable to understand you.’ You need to develop an art of understanding by listening to your partner. Understanding makes your marriage happy and healthy.

Lack of communication

Communication is an art. Nobody is born as a natural communicator. Words can unintentionally hurt your spouse. Effective communication is the key to improve your relationship. Remember, what you speak, how you speak, and when you speak has a huge impact on your special relationship. Use your words consciously.

ALSO READ | Lockdown weddings: Love in the time of a pandemic

Lack of acceptance

Acceptance is considered to be the key to open the doors in your marriage. It’s a hard task but it’s definitely not impossible. If you consciously ignore the imperfections and focus on the perfections and appreciate them, the connection between you and your spouse will improve. You will notice things in your partner which you would have never seen before. This will help you fulfill the emotional need of each other.

Lack of patience

Patience is an art to accept the delay or the problem without getting angry. It plays a major role in marriage. Patience provides you with peaceful results. It makes your marriage successful and brings ease in the millennial couples’ relationship.

Lack of humour

Laughter bonds people. Laughter on a daily basis is similar to taking vitamins for your marriage. Adding just a pinch of humour will help you form a stronger bond with your spouse, address tough issues subtly, diffuse the anger, and resolve disagreements. Most situations are not as complex as they appear when looked at from a playful and humorous point of view. It helps in changing the perspective. It serves as an inspiration to make your marriage better each day.

How to resolve these issues

Marital issues are found in every happily ever after relationship. The main point is whether you want to resolve it. In case you want to see the new result, you need to take new action. These smart actions will guide you to shift your marriage from frictions to fun-loving journeys.

*Start taking breaks in an argument. Do not ignore your spouse but politely take a break.
*Always ‘be right’ is the wrong attitude. Stop doing this and give time to let the thing get settled.
*Do not involve any family member at this disturbed phase of your marriage.
*Try to understand your spouse’s pattern of communication. In case your partner is an introvert or more silent, this empathy towards him/her will help you resolve the current issue.
*Raise the topics of your partner’s interest so that he/she would talk with you easily and it will help you build connectivity in your marriage.
*Always remember to keep patience. You want to restore and you have led to resolve this issue. It’s your responsibility to make your partner comfortable with you. Force, aggression, anxiety and impatience will never help your partner open up to you. It might bring a major rift in your relationship.
Respect your partner even though you aren’t going great in the current situation. Statements like ‘can we give our marriage a second chance?’ help if it is really meant. Do not use the word you, instead use ‘We’.

Understand that the more you keep thinking without doing anything, the worse your issues will become. With increasing severity, your happiness gets sucked. As you’ve already realised that your marriage is failing, the next step is to work on it.

No matter how difficult your issue is, regardless of whether your partner is unwilling to restore the relationship, consult an expert and with their help, take charge of your marriage.

Resolve your current marital issues on your own and start enjoying the fun and companionship with your partner!

Millennial marriage coach, speaker and author

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