Beige flags are softer, less alarming cousins of red flags. (representative image) (Source: Getty Images/Thinkstock)
First came the red flag, warning us that our partners were not as good as our rose-tinted glasses made them seem like. Then emerged the green flags, representing the assurance that our significant others were kind-hearted individuals who genuinely cared about us and loved us. While the red flags resemble kaante (thorns), the green flags are like phool (flowers), if you get what we mean!
And now, there’s a new dating term on the block — ‘beige flag’. But, what does it even mean? According to Pallavi Barnwal, an intimacy and relationship coach, “Beige flags are softer, less alarming cousins of red flags. They are not as serious and can easily pass off as lovable nuisance in a relationship.”
People have inundated Instagram and TikTok calling their partners ‘a beige flag’. Look at an example here:
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While a red flag may become a dealbreaker and a green flag portrays the best things about your partner, a beige flag lies somewhere in the middle — something that is a part of your partner’s personality and may not necessarily affect your relationship with them.
An example of a beige flag, according to Barnwal, is that in a lot of women, there is resistance to having sex with the lights switched on. “It’s rooted in being uncomfortable with one’s body, but it doesn’t primarily have any effect on the relationship,” she explained.
Barnwal questioned the trend saying, “Which person has ever had a ‘perfect’ relationship in real life?” There may be no danger in listing out a partner’s beige flags but when you start fixating on them is when the problems arise.
“When we love somebody, we grow our ability to sit down with things that are paradoxical, that are mysterious, and we have to be able to accept a lot of shades of grey,” said Barnwal.
However, she cautions against hyper-focusing on these beige flags as they can potentially destroy your relationship. Your focus should be on “building an intimate partnership and nurturing it” rather than on the beige flags that don’t matter.
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