Ankita Lokhande suggests couple’s counselling, Vicky Jain says, ‘mera dimaag sahi hai’; why some partners resist therapy and how to navigate it

Ankita then argued, “I think mera dimaag tujhse zyada sahi hai (I think my mind is in a better state than yours), that is how I am able to tolerate you.” She then ended the conversation saying, “Jhagda ho jayega, rehne dete hai (We will fight, let’s leave it).”

Many couples face disagreements about seeking therapy, often due to stigma, denial, or a belief that only one person is at fault. 

But why do some individuals resist the idea of couples’ counselling?

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “I believe that the act of seeking help is an emblem of strength, not weakness. Therapy is not a verdict of failure; rather, it is a safe space where individual and relational patterns are examined with curiosity and care. What actually happens in therapy is a collaborative process where a trained professional helps break down destructive narratives—like the belief that only one partner is at fault—and fosters an environment of mutual growth.”

 

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She continues, “Many individuals resist couples counselling because it challenges long-held beliefs about self-sufficiency and pride. In many communities, admitting that there’s something to fix in a relationship can feel like a personal failure. When someone like Vicky Jain declares, “mera dimaag sahi hai,” it’s often less about denying issues and more about protecting an ego that fears vulnerability. The societal stigma around therapy makes many feel that seeking help is an admission of weakness rather than a proactive step toward self-growth.”

From a psychological perspective, she says, this resistance can be seen as a defense mechanism. Accepting help might force one to confront painful truths about oneself or the relationship, which can bruise the ego. For instance, if a partner has internalised the idea that only “the other” is at fault, the thought of joint counseling threatens this narrative.

Signs that indicate a couple might benefit from professional counselling, even if one partner believes everything is fine

Even if one partner claims “everything is fine,” Khangarot stresses that there are often subtle indicators that professional guidance could be valuable:

Recurring Conflicts: When arguments become cyclic and neither partner seems to resolve underlying issues, it may indicate deeper emotional disconnects.

Communication Breakdown: Avoidance, sarcasm, or passive-aggressive behaviour often signal that the way partners communicate isn’t effective.

Emotional Withdrawal: One or both partners may begin to disengage emotionally, leading to feelings of isolation despite being in the same relationship.

Attribution of Blame: If one partner consistently places fault solely on the other—reflecting an unspoken fear of facing one’s own shortcomings—it’s a red flag that the relationship could benefit from an external perspective.

Brushed Aside Concerns: Dismissing the idea of counseling, as seen in the “Not ours, only you need counselling” sentiment, might be a sign of defensiveness. This defensiveness often masks a fear of vulnerability and change, which, if unaddressed, can erode the relationship over time.