Ameesha Patel on why she thinks men and women are not equal: ‘Just by wearing pants…’; relationship expert weighs in

Reflecting on the above statements, Priya Parulekar, Consulting Psychologist and Relationship Expert, told indianexpress.com that when someone is in survival mode—financially, emotionally, or socially—they develop a hypermasculine side. Traits like independence, assertiveness, and self-reliance dominate because survival requires action and control.

In today’s day and age, where women are trying to catch up with decades of being sidelined and ignored by men when it comes to stepping out and taking on work, it is easy for them to slip into masculine mode.

“Feminine energy is more about openness, receptivity, emotional expression, intuition, and the ability to surrender or relax around someone safe. Masculine energy is more about protection, decisiveness, structure, problem-solving, and providing safety (physically, emotionally, or materially),” explained Parulekar.

According to her, someone in survival mode often develops more masculine traits, which can make connecting with a healthy masculine partner tricky because they unconsciously “test” whether a man is safe enough to drop the armour.

Ameesha Patel on why men and women are not equal (Source: Instagram/@ameeshapatel9)

Surrendering is not weakness. It’s trusting someone enough to let down your defences. When Ameesha says that women should remain true to their biological traits, she reiterates the point that with the right man, women will surrender and feel safe. There’s an unspoken awareness that her energy will soften around someone reliable. This is a conscious choice, not default behaviour.

“For feminine women, masculine energy is attractive because it creates a container where feminine energy can emerge without fear. If the man is inconsistent, controlling, or emotionally unstable, it reinforces survival instincts rather than allowing surrender,” shared Parulekar, adding that the right man doesn’t just provide materially or protect physically; he signals emotional and energetic safety that allows her to shift from survival mode to feminine presence.

How can you identify safe, masculine men?

“Look for consistency, protective capability, and emotional maturity,” said Parulekar, while elaborating on the traits:

a) Protector in Action- Should be able to handle crises without panic, act rather than overreact. Physically or materially capable (even if he has modest means) of creating boundaries that prevent harm.

b) Emotional Safety – Listens without judgment, allows vulnerability without exploiting it. Maintains composure even when expressing anger, fear, or frustration. And keeps promises and demonstrates integrity.

c) Decisiveness and direction – Knows what he wants and can make decisions confidently. Doesn’t require constant validation or approval, so he’s “anchored” rather than reactive. Provides structure, not control, guides without dominance.

d) Boundaries and respect – Doesn’t get triggered by your independence or past trauma. Can say “no” without fear of conflict and respects your “no” as well. Recognises the difference between control and protection.

e) Energy and presence – Has consistent energy that doesn’t fluctuate wildly with stress. When he’s present, you instinctively feel calmer.