“The only thing in this world that should be feared is fear itself”
Fear takes a lot away from your life. It gives you nothing except regret and a false delusion of being in your comfort zone. As long as something does not kill you physically, you should fight your fears.
What are you afraid of? Is it public speaking, selling, meeting new people, asking for a date, asking for a raise, applying for a new job, failing in life, changing your business, being alone, or saying no to people? Have you ever thought how much your fears cost you- financially, emotionally and physically?
Happiness can only be experienced when you confront your worst fears.
Reactions that people give when they face fear
How do you respond to the feeling of fear? When people are afraid of something, they get into one of the following four modes.
Worry or paralysis mode: It is also called the ‘stuck’ state. You feel that nothing can change your life and you will never be able to get what you want. To give you an example, if you are afraid of public speaking, you will worry about it, but will never take any action to improve your communication skills. Worry is the biggest enemy of self esteem. It makes you give up even before you start fighting.
Surrender mode: You learn to compromise with everything that comes your way. To quote and extend the same example, you have accepted the fact that you cannot improve your public speaking skills. You do not worry about it but you are not able to use any opportunity related to public speaking. Remember, every fear that you conquer adds some skills to your life.
Rejection or denial mode: There are some people who never accept their fears or shortcomings. They continue doing what is easy to do, rather than doing what must be done. They never acknowledge their fears and as a result they never do anything to get rid of them. If they are dissatisfied in a job, they will always look for an escape to forget the pain. These people fake their confidence and happiness, because only those who challenge their fears are happy and free.
Persist, fight and conquer mode: This is the way of the peaceful warrior. You get peace only when you believe in yourself and fight your fears. You do not always win the first battle but you always win the final one. Develop a winning strategy by reading books, introspecting and observing people who overcame similar fears. Take massive action for implementing the strategy and persist till you get desired results. Conquering your fears is no rocket science but a simple matter of continuous learning and persistent action.
6 simple steps to overcome your fears
Remember that you are bigger than anything that happens to you or can happen to you.
Resolve to fight your fears: Only those who fight their worst fears are truly free and happy. Others are prisoners who pretend to be free. Make a list of things that you are afraid to do and resolve to take action on them. Unless it jeopardises you physically, go for it. You will experience emotional freedom.
Take small steps: If you are afraid of public speaking, sign up for a public speaking class. If you are afraid to approach strangers, join a networking club. If you are afraid of starting a business, start part-time. Small steps when consistently taken, will transform your self esteem positively. A positive self-esteem is the best anti-dote to fear.
Take action and repeat the action: Fear can only be cured through action. Decide on a plan of action and then keep improving the intensity and the frequency of your actions. If you do something again and again, it is impossible to be afraid of it. Repetition improves your skill and makes you feel certain of the positive outcome.
Look for references: Look for the stories of people who have already accomplished what you want to achieve. You will find out they started with similar fears and doubts. Once you have enough references in your mind, you will not shy away from taking action to overcome your fears.
Keep yourself inspired: Keep yourself inspired by reading books that keep you motivated. Do not believe only in positive things, rather believe in positive living. It is a proven fact that inspiration is the fuel for our mind and body.
Do not worry about what people will think: When you try to conquer fears, you may lose a few times. It is part of the game. And when you lose, do not stay a loser. Life is a marathon so keep running and you will eventually overcome your fears and win.
Those who do not fight their fears, live a very small life. Make sure you are growing and challenging yourself every day.
About the author
Siddhartha Sharma is a organizational consultant and a professional motivational speaker. His workshops and books have transformed over a million lives. His is the bestselling author of 5 books- Love Your Mondays and Retire Young, The Millionaire Entrepreneur, 60 Keys to Success with NLP, Mom I got the Job, and TGIM-Thank God It’s Monday. You can connect with him on his FB page or his website