Fashion designer Tom Ford has opened up about his battle with suicidal thoughts and struggle with depression.
The 55-year-old designer said he still thinks about death all the time but has learned to “deal with” his negative thoughts over the years, said The Hollywood Reporter.
“I can remember early thoughts of suicide at eight or nine-years-old. Those things are often hereditary – people in my family have had that – as is alcoholism, and that’s also something I’ve dealt with. That’s a very big factor of my life, fighting against that.
“It’s quite under control now. I don’t drink – that’s an enormous factor. And I am fairly grounded. I have a wonderful family life. I exercise, I play tennis every day, all those little things. Death is all I think about. There is not a day or really an hour that goes by that I don’t think about death.”
I think you are born a certain way. I think you just come out that way,” Ford said.
He said he still has a “constant fear” that things will go wrong. “I live in constant fear that something could change or go wrong. And it’s exhausting, and it’s draining, and it can be upsetting, and it can lead to unhappiness. I’m always afraid something could happen.”
The fashion designer-turned-filmmaker also discussed his protective childhood and admits he is still “super- self-conscious”.
“I mean, when you’re a little kid and someone says, ‘If you step into the road, you’re going to die,’ you know? ‘If you fall off that, you could have brain damage.’ Not that it was quite that bad, but that sort of fear is instilled …I was super-self-conscious, which hasn’t changed. I can’t stand having my picture taken. I’m extremely shy, which
isn’t something (people would expect),” he said.