‘As a Gen Z, I stopped sharing my life online, and felt free again’

He told me something that would change my relationship with social media forever: he had stayed away entirely because he did not want to overshare and, as a consequence, be judged by the people around him. It seemed radical at the time, but something about it made sense. So I deleted my accounts.

For three years, I stayed off social media. When I returned to India, and my friends urged me to rejoin because I was ‘missing out’ on staying connected, I reluctantly came back. But something had shifted. I was not interested in posting anymore. I wanted my life to be my life, not a curated performance subject to public commentary and judgment.

This realisation did not come out of nowhere. During my college days in Pune, I had given everyone access to my life through constant posting. Everyone knew everything. I was young, and transparency felt like connection. But I was not young anymore. I was older and wiser, and I understood that certain things are best kept private.

The result was immediate. The constant judgement stopped: from loved ones, from friends, from people who barely knew me. I had control over my life again. I felt free. I felt happier.

And I am not alone in this shift.

A generation rethinking visibility

Across India, young adults in their twenties are pulling back from the very platforms on which they grew up. They are still online, scrolling, consuming, quietly present, but no longer performing their lives for public consumption. What is driving this retreat isn’t technophobia or disconnection. It’s self-preservation.

Vivek Rawat, 26, who works in public relations, describes his journey toward privacy as a gradual awakening rather than a sudden decision. “There was no single defining moment, but rather a gradual realisation,” he explains.

As algorithms became more predictive and AI advanced rapidly, he became increasingly aware of how personal data is used. But beyond data concerns, there was something more personal at play. “Working in public relations has taught me how easily words can lose context when passed from one person to another,” Vivek says.

He recalls a conversation he once shared that was repeated elsewhere without its emotional context, leading to misunderstandings. “That experience helped me understand that privacy is not about fear, but about awareness, ensuring that personal experiences are not misinterpreted or taken out of context,” he says.

The shift has brought tangible mental health benefits. “Becoming more private has brought a sense of calm and clarity,” Vivek notes. “Reducing unnecessary digital exposure and social pressure has helped me focus inward.”

For therapist Radhika Dhawan, 28, the turning point came when things she shared casually on her professional profile became topics of speculation. “It was not one dramatic moment, but a slow accumulation of experiences,” she recalls.

As her work grew and boundaries between personal and professional life blurred online, she noticed how easily information travels and mutates. “Vulnerability, once shared, doesn’t always stay held with care. That is when I began choosing privacy more intentionally—not out of secrecy, but self-preservation,” she says.

Even though Radhika experienced a screen-free childhood, it was a luxury that did not last long. Growing up in the latter part of her life with social media and family WhatsApp groups blurred the line between connection and surveillance. “Nothing felt truly contained. There was always an audience: known or unknown. Over time, sharing stopped feeling safe and started feeling performative,” she says.

As algorithms became more predictive and AI advanced rapidly, Gen Z has become aware of how personal data is used. (Source: AI Generated)

When access invites entitlement

Maulii Kulsreshtha, 24, used to be completely open about her opinions, emotions, and milestones, which were all shared in real time. But over time, she noticed something troubling: access invited entitlement.

“People felt they had a say in decisions that were never theirs to comment on,” she tells indianexpress.com. “What once felt empowering started feeling draining. I realised not every part of my life needed an audience to feel valid.”

The shift toward privacy was not just about social media. Constant visibility had normalised oversharing across all platforms. “Being outspoken was rewarded with attention, but it also came with scrutiny. Family groups, social media, and peer circles meant nothing stayed contained,” she says.

For Maulii, holding back now feels like self-preservation. “People remember the loud version of you. When you are outspoken, every silence is questioned, and every change is judged,” she says. The result of becoming more private? “I feel lighter. There is less pressure to clarify, defend, or perform. Privacy has given me control over my emotions and my story.”

In the Indian context, especially, Radhika notes, there are additional layers to this fear. “There is also fear of nazar (evil eye), unsolicited advice, moral policing, and opinions disguised as concern. Holding back often feels like choosing peace over explanation,” she explains.

The psychological weight of constant evaluation

Mental health professionals are seeing this shift play out in therapy rooms. Sukriti Dilwaria, a counselling psychologist at digital healthcare platform Rocket Health, explains that Gen Z has grown up in a world that prizes performance and is obligated to perform for a larger audience—”an audience that they perhaps don’t even know personally.”

Unlike earlier generations that dealt with traditional and cultural norms within smaller social systems, Gen Z faces scrutiny on a massive scale. “Their mere existence would influence the self-worth of an individual in an ideal world,” Sukriti explains. “But the world that Gen Z has grown up in, surrounded by social media at all times and higher expectations from parents, schools, and peers to perform perfectly, their self-worth is being driven by ‘How will I be perceived’ instead of ‘How I will feel’,” she adds.

Shweta Manghnani, a counselling psychologist and founder of Sukh by SHM, observes that self-worth has developed under constant observation for this generation. “Unlike earlier generations, they did not get to experiment or make mistakes privately. Peers, family, and strangers often occupy the same digital space,” she says. This has made many young people hyper-aware of how they are perceived, and emotional safety becomes fragile because being seen also means being judged.

The result? “Decision-making often becomes driven by fear of how things will look rather than what feels right,” Shweta explains. “Many clients second-guess themselves, compare relentlessly, and struggle to trust their own choices. Self-esteem becomes conditional and unstable, rising with validation and dropping sharply with criticism,” she adds.

Privacy as power

When asked what privacy means to them today, Gen Z-ers framed it as empowerment rather than isolation.

“Privacy represents boundaries, self-respect, and intentional living. Certain aspects of life, such as relationships, finances, and plans, deserve to be protected. Oversharing can dilute trust and blur boundaries. For me, privacy is not about hiding; it is about safeguarding peace, mental well-being, and the right to control one’s own narrative,” says Vivek.

From a psychological standpoint, this retreat makes perfect sense. Sukriti uses a reference from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban to explain the phenomenon: “The Boggart is a shadow figure that takes the shape of whatever you fear. If we are looking at social media as a fear and self-doubt-inducing platform, maintaining a private life on social media resembles naming your fear and stealing the power away from it,” she says.

Unlike earlier generations that dealt with traditional and cultural norms within smaller social systems, Gen Z faces scrutiny on a massive scale. (Source: AI Generated)

In a world of conformity and obedience, social media has become a powerful tool that dictates who people should be, what they should do, and how they should live. “Not just on social media, but Gen Z has started keeping lives private outside of it, too, because the judgements inside and outside of social media have forced them to look inwards,” Sukriti notes.

Shweta adds that for many young people, pulling back feels like relief. “It reduces the sense of being watched and evaluated. Psychologically, privacy lowers emotional arousal and gives them space to feel without explaining or justifying themselves,” she says.

When silence becomes self-preservation

There is an intense fear among this generation of being reduced to a label or misunderstood online. As a result, young people have become careful about what they reveal. “They often share polished or socially acceptable parts of themselves and hide confusion, vulnerability, or uncertainty,” Shweta observes. “Silence becomes a protective choice.”

But is this shift toward selectiveness healthy boundary-setting or a response to overwhelm and burnout? The answer, according to both psychologists, is that it can be both.

Shweta states, “It is healthy when privacy is chosen with awareness and flexibility. It becomes concerning when silence is driven by fear, exhaustion, or shame. The key difference is whether the person still feels emotionally connected and able to share when needed. Privacy can be protective, but when it becomes rigid, it often reflects overwhelm rather than empowerment.”

Reclaiming the driver’s seat

As priorities shift toward personal growth, mental well-being, and long-term goals, many young Indians are increasingly focusing on entrepreneurship, skill-building, and self-development rather than on constant social validation. 

Most importantly, this generation is learning something that took me a pandemic and three years offline to understand: that taking the steering wheel of your life into your own hands sometimes means driving away from the crowd.